December

So December's energy is supposed to be very intense.  I need many reminders myself to remember to allow myself to JUST LET GO of whatever may be coming up in the way of "negative feelings" as (some of us) have already done the emotional "work" around issues that trigger us.  Another thing that was mentioned was that we may feel very combative this month... wanting to engage in arguments or actual fights with people.  We will also see this outside of us as well.  Out "there".  

Remember, EVERYTHING is neutral until you give it your perspective or make a story about it and it's the story you tell yourself that YOU (the real you; your soul) that will tell you via your feelings whether you are in alignment with the truth or not.  Basically, YOU (as your soul) will see everything as a "yes" as "perfect" (perfect as in everything is perfect as it it, not flawless) and if you feel any negative emotion, it's YOU saying that you need to see it differently to feel better or a positive emotion.

My best analogy for this is this:  I am NOT a fan of football.  I think it's too violent a sport and too many of our beloved men beat themselves up and each other to score points and win a GAME that has no bearing on life except as entertainment!  They've even committed suicide to escape they pain they feel from head injuries.😢 I mean if we gave as much attention to things that REALLY matter, like our own vibration as we do sports or other forms of entertainment, we would be a different society.

That said, I have to shift the way I see football if I want to hang out with my kid and his Dad because sometimes that's the only way I can spend time with them.  So, even though I don't like football, I realize that it's a major part of some people's lives like some of my loved ones and if I want to hang out with them, I have to like watching football.😆

So, as I watch the game, I focus on how they are playing; if they are executing their plays the way they are supposed to and of course, for me as a woman, all the cute butts I see; handsome faces etc.  I focus on things that I DO like.

I've had plenty of time to dial this in.  I've known my ex for over 30 years and it took me many of those years to change how I look at football as I yearn for the day when people finally "get it" how dangerous a sport it is and they no longer need entertainment like they do to distract themselves from more important things.

It's also important to remember not to beat yourself up or be hard on yourself if you do feel combative this month or feel negative emotion.  YOU WILL!  It's inevitable.  Forgive yourself so you can let go of the negative emotion (forgiveness is ALWAYS for the person doing the forgiving) and move on.  Forgive yourself for all of the transgressions you make.  The only one you need to forgive IS yourself. 

As I say this, I know I'm speaking to myself too.  My entertainment is Netflix.  I'm SUCH a Netflix junkie!  😆  I have my own struggles I have to deal with so please don't think I have EVERYTHING dialed in, I don't; YET.I am PERFECT as I am in any given moment and I also keep moving forward to keep "dialing it in" as in my emotional intelligence, letting go of "stuff" that's coming up for release and I do that through forgiveness and having compassion (not feeling "sorry") for myself for my perceived mis-takes and others for theirs.

If you are here on Earth at this time and you are reading this, YOU are a Master.  You wouldn't be here otherwise.  From what I understand about incarnations on Earth is that they are very challenging and for a reason.  So that we can get the most out of our challenges for the optimal GROWTH of our Soul.😇  You MUST have mastered your own ego in "the past" to be here now so congratulate yourself!  YOU'RE DOING IT!!!😇💪💓💕

I love you because we are ONE energy in different bodies; the energy of LOVE; of GOD.   All the BEST to you on your Soul's journey to higher vibrations!😍 

What I've been going through lately...

Until today, (back in the middle of August) I haven't even had the desire to come here and share what's been going on with me even though it may be helpful to some to hear from me that, as bad as it may seem sometimes, it's not the worst and it's only temporary. Here is a video from Kerry K who I have great trust in that she knows what she is talking about.  This video describes quite accurately how I've been feeling lately.  I haven't really had the emotional swings to such extreme as what she talks about, but what I have noticed is that I feel it more clearly when there is a big enough gap in emotional frequencies that I can really feel the difference between different feelings instead of them being blended together.

There is so much that I have processed from this ongoing experience... it's part of spiritual awakening that I interpret as attaining the awareness and experience of Who I really am; awakening INTO who I really am as I let go of personal baggage.

It started with the overall feeling of being "done".  Done with how I live my live, what I wear, living with the people I'm living with, what I do for a living... I could go on and on... I felt most of it with a sense of conviction and a tiny bit of resentment. 

This lasted for a couple of weeks.  

It has been months now and what I've realized is that I'm done being on Earth; not that I'm going to leave my body, but that I'm going to leave the surface of the planet.  I would love to have my own space ship and go explore other planets! 

Anyway, back to the changes I've been experiencing.

Over the last few months, I've regained patience, a greater sense of security and I've surprised myself.  It's still been a yo-yo like feeling of being up in vibration and then back down but consistantly still going up.

I went to the Big Island of Hawai'i the last 2 weeks of October and stayed with the friends I always stay with; knowing what I was walking into.  Their house was in worse shape than ever!😆 I was worried that I was going to be put out by all the clutter and literal dirt but I wasn't!  I had what I feel was an extraordinary amount of compassion and understanding for their situation. 

That whole trip was better than the one before that.  I reconnected with several friends all of whom asked me if I was moving back.

When I got back home, the difference in vibration between Boulder and Pahoa was such a chasm that I could really feel it.  The energy here in Boulder feels dense and kinda thick whereas the energy on the Big Island felt very light and less dense.

I' still aware of parts of my ego that really don't want to cooperate😆 but that's ok.  I'm still making progress with myself.

My outside reality is still the same as well but here and there as I keep moving up in vibration, I experience strings of synchronicities. 

Here is a GREAT short video of Bashar using a very good analogy for explaining manifestation. 

Here also is another video that I found today that pretty accurately describes pretty much what I'm in the middle of as I'm working on my 60'th year!