Fear leads to curiosity leads to investigation leads to understanding leads to acceptance equals S(s)elf Love 💖💝😍

I just LOVE these inspirational downloads I've been getting! 

Fear is just the opposite end of the range of FEELING.  You are either feeling good or you are feeling bad or you are neutral and that's just in the middle.

Fear only exists here as a lower vibration so that we can choose to feel better.  YES!  We have the choice as to how we want to feel.  Feelings don't just "happen" to us.  We can choose to ignore our feelings and that's what leads to dis-ease on the negative end or we can choose to explore what it is we are REALLY afraid of and it's usually something we don't know that we feel we should know.  In that sense, fear leads to curiosity on the positive end.

So, if we follow that, curiosity would then logically lead us to ask questions, investigate and do some research because doing that is what helps us to "know" or have an understanding that can dispel the fear of NOT knowing.😉 Doing that ourselves is also the best way to empower ourselves.  Relying on another to do this for us is what the victim does because then if it is revealed that what we chose to believe is not true, we have someone else to blame.

From that, the next step is to accept what it is that we have discovered given we have use proper discernment of what we have found to decide if what we have found is the truth or not.  This small act of acceptance IS Love.  

When we use this process on ourselves, it had profound effects!  This is the essence of (s)elf Love.  We are loving the part of our self that is wearing the cloak of fear just for the contrast.  Too often we treat ourselves as our worst enemy when really, we are our own best friend/lover.

💓💝💞  

 

Atlas 🐕💕 Transformation

May I pet your dog, I asked the short, bald guy.  "No", he said emphatically.  He told me later that he gets tired of people asking to pet his dog.  "What's his name?" I inquired.  "Atlas", he said.  "When I got him, his name was (I can't remember!) but every time I said it, it sounded like "Asshole" so I changed it to 'Atlas'."  "And what's your name?" I asked.  "Jeffrey, but everyone calls me JR".

JR got up to sing and left his pooch, a miniature pinser, on the seat next to where he was sitting.  I moved to sit where JR had been just to see if Atlas would come over and he DID.  When JR came back, he looked a little surprised.  He had told me that Atlas wasn't keen on everyone and had even ignored me at first.  Atlas had made himself comfortable on my lap and looked to his Daddy for approval.

JR and I became friends quickly.  He took me out dancing; taught me some couple's dance moves, took me to dinner one of my last nights in Ft. Myers and took me on a short kayak trip to a little beach for lunch and shell search.  I hung out with him a few times at the different bars that offered karoke.  It's so funny, "happy hour" starts at 3PM over there!  

By the time I left the island, Atlas and JR were my newest best friends.  I was surprised to find some of the little things we had in common.  

Mike had come back early Thursday morning and I got a "see you Saturday" text from him but that never happened.  It was one excuse after another... all very apropos and I can only be mad at myself for telling him it was OK to lie; explaining to him my perspective on deception, that we will use it to protect ourselves and that's OK.

When Sunday came around, I got it that I wasn't going to see him at all.  I spent all day Monday sulking in my apartment watching "Ancient Aliens" on the History channel.  

At the end of the day, I decided that I was going to make the most of my last 3 full days there as I was to leave very early Friday morning.  The next day, I rented the bike 3 more days, I figured out how to use my phone as a "hot spot" so that I could get internet in my room.  Just one of the few things that wasn't great about my room.

I loved it there!  I was steps away from the beach and walked it with my coffee every morning picking up shells and bits of trash that the beach patrol couldn't get.  I miss that the most.

While I was super disappointed that Mike would rather work than meet up with me, it was very clear to me that I was not on his priority list and that was OK.  After I spent all day Monday feeling lousy and exploring why I felt the way I did, I realized all the mis-takes I had made... going all the way back to when I first met Mike and also the mis-takes I made leading up to my trip.

It really felt like I had no other choice than to be for-giving love to Mike rather than hating on him.  I couldn't say it was all his "fault".  It takes to to tangle or tango.😉😆

I left without ever seeing him and while I could have stayed longer to have more fun, I felt surprisingly happy to arrive at DIA without that "let down" feeling I've had in the past after being on vacation and having to leave.

That's why the first post to this was titled "On top of the world" because that's what it felt like!  I just listened to the newest channeling from Blossom with a message from "White Cloud" and he was asking if we could feel the Love... coming from deep within.  That's exactly right!  The level of confidence I'm feeling has just deepened.  I KNOW I did some "work" and I got have fun too!  lmao  The "work" being closing the door to anything romantic with Mike and forgiving his choices that didn't include me.  

When I think about it, if I had been hanging out with Mike the whole time, I never would have met JR and Atlas or met all the cool people at the Tuckaway and on the beach.  I think we could have had a good time but it would have been very different than what I experienced and I'm really happy with what I created!

😇💪💖

 

 

Quick Update

I have to interrupt the current story for a really cool newsflash!😄💖

I will be brief.  I am having a very clear experience of how changing ones thoughts (perspective) about something or someone can really shift the whole situation overnight!

I have a new client that is very desperate for help and just after a few days, I wasn't sure I wanted to continue.  There is a lot I really appreciate about her like how organized she is and that my work there is never hard or dirty.  She keeps up with everything very well.  She's patient, trusts that I know what I'm doing and generous.  There was also something I couldn't put my finger on kind of thing that was bugging me.

I had some explorative conversations with my housemates as to what could be going on (with HER of course😂) as to why I was feeling what I was feeling.  I realized later that while it was still helpful to a degree, it still cast more of a negative light on her that was all assumptions.

That night I recognized that I was trying to rescue her and also that I was afraid of facing myself!  She herself, is a "rescuer".  It's not a bad thing, it's a misdirection of energy that should be going towards one's self instead of being projected outward.  I had succumbed to her dominant energy of needing to be rescued and part of me wanted to fulfill that!

She needs so much help that she's been unable to keep up with her work.  Of course, I have my own ideas about what is going on but that's beside the point.  The point being that after I saw what my ego was doing, I realized I can let her stuff (whatEVER it may be) be her stuff, offer help and wait to be asked and therefore let it go and not spend any of my mental energy "fixing" her problems in my head.

The next day, it was a totally different experience!  She wasn't stressed and I was actually happy to be there whereas the day before I felt a mild dread of going.  The next day was the same joyful experience.  Now I feel like I'm in service to her rather than feeling some (resentment maybe?) at going because I saw her as being "needy".  Now I'm more like her guardian angel in the flesh and happy to help.

Part of me wants to give her more of my time than I feel I should.  I'm hyper aware that I need to keep all of my activities in balance.  I have not had this level of activity in my life since 2017 when I stopped driving the taxi.  I'm doing very well, I think, juggling everything I have going on.😁💪💖

Longer than expected but I felt the need to add some detail so you get what I'm saying.  I changed HOW I was seeing her and THAT was what changed "the movie".  I wonder if I may have jumped a time-line doing that! 😲💞😎

 

Continuation...💖

The next day when I spoke with Mike, he had calmed down.  He had spent several hours the night before chatting with his old buddies from the AF; many of whom I had known.

It was getting closer to my departure date and I was a little nervous because I hadn't secured a place to stay yet.  The one place I had found that looked like it was in a good spot disappeared overnight and I was back at square one again.

Finally, a few days later, I found a studio with a kitchen that looked like it would be just what I needed; only a little further away from the center of activity on the island.

Later, as it turned out, this was to be a MUCH better place for me to be.

 

As my departure date drew near, I got my ride from the airport set up, rented a bike for a week and started packing a week before so that I could make sure I had everything I was going to need.  There was a "flow" present that I noticed that helped immensely in recognizing I was still going in the right direction/right timing.

The Monday before I left was the first day of court for Mike.  He had driven to Georgia the day before so he could be there for the first day.

I left the next day and experienced an ease and grace at the airport that I hadn't seen in a long time!  lol  It seemed as though TSA had relaxed a LOT.  I still had to go through all the BS that they make you do, however, I didn't have to go through any searches.

As soon as I landed, I was hit with the heat and humidity of a hot Florida Spring.  It felt SO good! 😎 It had felt like Winter still the last week that I spent in Colorado.

After I got settled into my little apartment, I grabbed the bike and went to the Publix grocery store to get what I thought I need for the next week.

When I got back, I took a walk down to a place on Estero Island called "Times Square"; a namesake of the same in New York only much smaller.  lol  It was really just a small collection of retail shops, restaurants, bars and resorts for the tourists.  

It didn't take long to see everything and I ended up on a back street loop and started to pass by a resort called "The Lighthouse".  I decided to go in and ask if they had Karoke there.  The woman at the counter said, yes and that it was that night!

I went back later to check out the scene and found one empty chair just opposite the stage.  It wasn't long before this short, bald guy took the seat in front of me and I saw he had a little dog on his lap with a harness that said, "service animal"...

 

Synchronicity 😁💖

I love synchronicity!  This describes perfectly what I'm feeling.  I know this is what is happening for me...

This is Blossom Goodchild who, in my opinion, is a TRUE channel as I have been following her for a few years now and she's bang on!  True as in her energy is on the mark for aligning with only ETs aligned with Love.  She channels the Federation of Light.

Blossom Goodchild 

This isn't just about me... this is a spiritual clue for ALL of you as to what is coming/possible!😁 This energy is available to all of us!  

I am experiencing this because of the work I've already done with myself and the evidence of that is what I'm writing about here... just how differently I'm handling what, maybe 10 years ago would have been devastating, now was a piece of cake.

My blog is to help people see that people WILL and DO change! 😁

Backslide?

 This is a continuation of the "Still on Top" post

I texted with Mike every few days and talked with him on the phone a few times over the next few weeks to discuss ideas of what we could do to have some fun and where to go.

Another thing I had not planned for was having to change my accommodations...

I got a call from Mike about a week before I was supposed to leave.  "You have to cancel your trip." he said, in a panic.  "Why?" I asked, perplexed.

I was about to get a "truth bomb" from him.  Apparently, he had left out some pertinent details regarding who's house he was living in and also that he had made a promise to a sibling that he would attend the court appearance of a niece on trial for murder.

The trial was going to start the day before I was to arrive in Florida.  I did not waste any time telling him that he needed to follow through on his promise and show up at the trial to support his family.

"I can be patient and wait to see you." I told him with confidence.  "It's important that you follow through with your promise."  He told me the sordid details of what had happened with his niece that caused her to mistake her boyfriend and daughter for "demons" that she killed them both.

Then he added, "I got a letter two days ago from (her) lawyer telling me I'm about to be evicted!"  I was a little confused to say the least.  "I don't want to be homeless!" he said desperately.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused.  "Do you remember me telling you I followed a woman down here about 4 years ago?" he asked quizzically? I suddenly remember the story he had told me a few years ago.  "Sure."  I said, feeling there was a bomb about to be dropped.  "Well, she owns the house I live in even though I pay all the bills."  "I told her that I was having an old friend from the AF come to visit.  She said, 'I hope I get to meet him,' and I said, 'he is a she and she's going to stay here.'  Well she flipped out over that, she got a crease between her eyes and two days later, I got the letter from her lawyer."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing!  "Why would you even tell her anything at all?" I asked, feeling betrayed and angry.  Why did he feel this loyalty to a woman he was telling me he wanted nothing to do with except to be her "friend"?  Clearly, she wasn't thinking like that.

I started to give him my unsolicited advice.  He was telling me "the story" of how he couldn't be homeless and all I could do was think about was how to solve his problem so that I wouldn't have to cancel my trip and still have a place to stay.

As I was asking him questions to get a better picture of what was going on, all he could talk about was what he feared.  "I'm not in a space where I can listen to your story, Mike." I said, somewhat irritated.  I was forgetting what I had learned about compassionate communication and was only focused on "the problem" and how his blunder was affecting me and what I wanted.

I could see this was turning into messy situation for Mike and I was getting caught up in the middle of it.  "I just don't want any drama!" Mike said determinedly. "Well, if she's going to play the game and get a lawyer, then you should too.  Especially, if you've given her all this money and she's never shared any of the profit she's made flipping that real estate."  

I still don't know if what he told me is really true, however, before he left for the trial happening in Georgia, he said he had talked with a lawyer and had made an appointment with him for the Friday after the trial.

I encouraged him to find something to be grateful for; knowing that this would be the fastest way for him to release his fears so that he could think logically and reasonably.  I also encouraged him to talk with her to find out what page they were on.  Clearly, they were NOT on the same page... and come to find out, neither were Mike and I...  

Still On Top 💪💖

 This is the continuation of "On Top of the World" post

When I made my decision to get some beach time and see my friend Mike, I was aware of all the possibilities that existed; we may not "hit it off" or even like hanging out with each other or, the other extreme, we could get back together; and everything in between.  This realization came about because of the conversation I had with him that, we never really closed that door... neither one of us said that our relationship was over or that we didn't want to see the other ever again.  The last time I saw Mike was in July of 1987 when I had gone to Georgia to be with him after we had both separated from the AF and he was sending me back home on the bus.

It was interesting; all these memories came back to me of what it had been like to be with him and what his effect on me had been at that time.

I had also not realized at that time (I was 19!) until much later in life that I can quite often be a mirror for the ego of the other.  I can kind of "lose myself" in those moments.  I never really saw it until it was a big contrast between who I knew myself to be versus who I became in the presence of another.

I was very sexually attracted to Mike and I also realized that he had been mostly emotionally unavailable and I hadn't had THAT realization until making plans to go see him.

I allowed myself to fantasize a bit about what it would be like to see him again and although I had absolutely NO intention of getting back together with him (it has STILL been a VERY long time since I have had sexual relations with a Man), I was open to being spontaneous with how everything would unfold.  I was looking forward to having some fun traveling a bit (he had mentioned going to the Everglades) while still getting my time at the beach.  I even offered (genuinely) to help him with his lawn care business.

The only thing I didn't plan for was not seeing him at all. 

On Top of the World! 💖😄

I just got back from a 10 day vacation to the Gulf side of Florida and I have to say... I'm pretty amazed at how I feel and the thoughts that have changed over the course of the last 6 weeks or so; I feel the need to share!😇

It started out by feeling a need to get away for a bit; feeling overwhelmed by the creations in my life.  I thought it would be great to have some beach time!  I decided the Hawai'i was out of the question because of expense and a desire to experience something different.  The West Coast was also out given all the C.O.V.I.D. BS going on so Florida was the obvious choice.  

I lived in Florida in the mid 70's as a kid on the Atlantic side around Boca Raton, Pompano Beach and West Palm Beach.  A funny from when I lived there was this was the time that the "Watergate" scandal was being discussed on the radio and we also lived in a trailer park named Watergate so it was confusing to me as to why (they) would be talking about our Park! 😂lmao

I kept thinking about my friend Mike, who is an "old flame" from back in my Air Force days so I asked him how far from the beach he was.  (Only a mile and a half) Then I asked him if he wanted me to come visit.  We've kept in touch over the years and he is the only person I know that lives over there.  He said it would OK to come visit and also be OK for me to sleep on his pullout couch in his living room.

I'm sure this is where it all started... I immediately fell into a trap that I had created a long time ago and was still there.  I was being given the chance to become aware of it, clean up a situation between us and close a door that I had forgotten was still open.

I'm amazed at the awareness I'm having of my old life with him and the details around it.  All the experience I've had and wisdom I've gleaned since then is creating a sharp contrast that makes it easy to analyze that whole experience and to gain a whole new perspective free of judgment, worry and fear.  All the learning about myself is helping me to see my old patterns and behaviors and also see his.

I'm going to share the breakdown I've done for this whole experience (still ongoing) in short bits and pieces to make it easier to read.  Tune in later for the next post!  Subscribing with your preferred email will be the easiest.  I never see your email and it will only alert you of a new post.😃💖