Suggestions?

Hello to my few loyal readers (lmao).  I know you're out there.  I would be interested (and you can remain anonymous) if any of you have any suggestions of what you want to read about.  Meaning, I'm opening myself up to suggestions of what people want to hear about, what they have questions about -- about ANYTHING!

I usually get inspired by stuff I hear in passing or on the the radio, current events but not lately.  Is anyone interested in giving me something to write about?  An opinion piece?  Something that maybe is troubling you that you want help on or just want an opinion of?  Let me know through email...😊💖

I can either make it public here on the blog or it can be private also.😉💕

Frustration!

I have this "friend" and I put friend in "" because even though I've known this person for 18 years, she has never made it into my "inner circle" of friends.  Maybe on a spiritual level she could be but here, she is a source of frustration and annoyance! lol

Her behavior is what annoys me and recently, her ego has become VERY apparent in her assumptions of what she believes is going on inside MY head when I know she CAN'T know what is in my head unless she became a mindreader overnight and that she is just projecting what is unconscious in her own!  

This post will serve as much as a vent for my frustrations as it will to pick apart my own thought process around (this person) and why she is in my life and how she is serving me through triggering my frustration and annoyance.

If I use the knowledge I have and look at myself and ask, what am I frustrated about, I get that I'm frustrated at how long my own process of illumination is taking and I'm annoyed at my own annoyance of Mary. (that's not her real name, but that's what I'll call her here) I don't want to be annoyed with her.  I want to have compassion for her.  

From where I sit and with all the work I've done on myself, I can see that she has little if any self awareness.  She is not aware that her need to be "right" is an indication that she is coming from her ego. 

Mary has had some spiritual experiences that may or may not have happened.  If they did, it appears that her ego is trying to take responsibility for these experiences when it was her core self that had these experiences and her ego was only witness to them. 

She was in a spiritual study group that is led by my employer and while I may not agree with everything that was discussed, she left the group after she got in a major disagreement with my employer over the material of the Spiritist Book that was being covered.  Mary somehow seems to think that because she has had these experiences, that now she "knows it all" and is beyond any kind of teaching.  EGO!!!

It is also possible that because she continues to deny MY experiential wisdom as if I know NOTHING, that she is making up her experiences as a way to "fit in" with the spiritual community that we live in.  I don't know for sure, however, her "making me wrong" about what I KNOW to be true is an indicator that she could be lying; applying my findings of what comes out of our mouth is about US especially when we are talking about someone else.  She is WRONG in her assumptions of what she thinks she knows.

Mary is also dyslexic.  This outward manifestation is an inner indicator of just how backwards she sees things and this leads to her insistence that her view is the truth and everyones else's knowledge is false based on the so-called spiritual experiences she says she has had.  This is how I interpret what is going on with her per my experience of her and her apparent disregard of what I DO KNOW from experience.  (even after I tell her how I know!)

OK, so describing what I have gone through with Mary is the foundation for me questioning myself about why don't I have compassion for her.  Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I haven't forgiven myself yet for my own ignorance and thinking I know the truth better than someone else.  I have not yet found compassion for myself in this regard.  I can honestly say that I still go through the latter, however, it comes from a place of experience and then the question comes up of: "Is my experience of things more valid than someone else's experience of the same thing?".  I'd have to say no and that our interpretation of said experience is what is going to be different depending on where we are coming from; ego or core Self.  If it's interpreted through the ego, there is a good chance that it will be misinterpreted completely and if ego is kept out of the way of the experience then the core Self will not have to interpret what happened but will KNOW without doubt what the experience was about.  That is rare in my opinion and coming from my own experience in looking back at my interpretation of my own dreams and random things that have happened.  It's only in hind sight that I clearly see what something was about.  There have been rare moments where I knew in the moment what my experience was about.

Then there is the frustration... I am frustrated on many levels with different things.  I'm frustrated with myself, other people, how long this ascension process is taking, how long it's taking "others" to "get it" and awaken.  I'm frustrated with my friends and family and there is actually a little pain there as well at being thought of as "crazy" in my belief of "conspiracy theories" and how I choose to live and do things.  I know in time, I will be vindicated!  lol  I won't say, "I told you so." to anyone but I will be thinking it!  lmao  Then people will realize that I wasn't so "crazy" after all.  haha

Then there is the tiredness.  I'm exhausted emotionally dealing with people.  Not always; it's only when I let the negative expressions like frustration etc get their way and take hold that I get exhausted.  I'm not always able to laugh at every situation especially when it affects me personally like having someone in my life like Mary...  that is why, at the moment, she is my greatest teacher.  When I am finally able to sit down with myself and look at myself with compassion and forgive what is there will she either disappear from my life or I will be able to see her with compassionate eyes and realize that it's her ignorance of spiritual study and her lack of self awareness that, in my opinion is her major stumbling block to a better understanding of her self and the absolute Truth of us as Spiritual Beings.

The True Meaning of Free Will and Karma (where to make a decision from)

I find that MOST people misunderstand what having "free will" means.  Most people think that means they can do whatever they want.  While that's true, they are missing the bigger meaning.  Our will is that part of us that is responsible for our decisions.  Before we make a choice of something, another choice comes first and this is where the "free" comes in.

There are two places to make a choice from:  Love or Fear.  This is what constitutes "duality".  It's the reason why we have an "ego".  In order for us to have "free will" it means there is more than one choice:  We are free to choose love or fear in our thinking/doing of things. Free will is honored by God and guides because to do otherwise would be to choose FOR US and that is interference!  It would negate God/god's free will to choose blindly so that we can have every experience we desire in order to know itself/ourselves.  It would also go against the path we have already laid before us.  To let us have our choice on our own and make our "mis-takes" is more loving than to "do it for us".  "To do it for us" would also be disempowering.  Make sense?  would love to hear comments about this...😐

Often, the choices made from fear (which for most people is most of the time) are the ones that become, "the lesson". lol  It's not bad, however, the outcome is showing you where you made your choice from.  The choices made from Love, however, are the ones that lead to the synchronistic happenings that are so fun and ALSO show you where you made your choice from.

It's easier to see if I give an example.  Lets say you have to get gas for your car and it's one of those cars that needs "high test".  It's the most expensive gas you can buy.  You only have $10 to put in the tank and you want to get the most out of your dollar.  Do you a:  buy the high test gas because you LOVE your car and you want the best for it or do you b:  buy the cheapest gas because you're AFRAID you won't get as far on the $10.   

If you chose a, this is the BEST choice you can make and more than likely, because you made your choice from a higher vibration, you will either go further than you thought on your $10 or you will magically attract more money to put in the tank when you need it.  The Universe always supports us in ANY decision we make but it's more evident when those little magical moments happen that seemingly come out of NOWHERE that leave us dumbstruck as to how they happened because it gave us exactly what we needed, when we needed it.

If you chose b, then more than likely because you made your choice from a lower vibration, you will experience something of the like:  Your car will give you some problems because you gave it cheap gas and you may have to spend EXTRA money you don't have to get it fixed.  The Universe is STILL supporting you by rewarding you with an experience that is showing you that there was a better choice to be made.  

This is how we are guided to changing our minds.  Karma is the outcome of all decisions.  There is no such thing as "bad" or even "good" karma (or luck!).  It is what it is.  It's only purpose is to show you where you made your choice from.

Karma only becomes "good" or "bad" when we look at it and think about it.  Actually, every situation is neutral until we assign its meaning with our thinking!  

It's important to know here, if you find yourself receiving "the lesson", DO NOT waste time beating yourself up about it.  You will achieve NOTHING and only do worse to yourself.  Accept you made a boo boo (mis-take) and fix your boo boo with a different decision.  This time, make sure it's out of Love!  Getting mired in self pity or anger only makes things worse.  

Now, how do you tell where you are making your decision from?  Before you do anything, ask yourself why your doing it.  If you hear yourself saying ANYTHING akin to fear, IE:  "I'm afraid that", or "I can't", "I shouldn't" etc.  STOP and re-asses your decision.  Not making a choice is still a choice and lots of times when we are anxious or feeling any of the lower vibrations, that is NOT a time to be making decisions as those decisions will lead to the "lesson".  The negative feelings are a clue that you are OUT OF ALIGNMENT with the "higher" part of yourself (that knows ALL) and that's how it communicates with you is through FEELING. So, obviously, if you don't feel good about a decision, DON'T MAKE IT!  

On the other hand, feeling joyous, good, excited, happy etc. is a clear indication that you ARE in alignment with your higher self (it is in agreement with your decision) and the best outcome is assured.  I want to emphasize here:  sometimes, even when we DO make the best decision, it's not immediately apparent.  Sometimes it LOOKS like we are going in the wrong direction or things happen that cause us to doubt we made the right decision, however, usually what is going on is there is a re-arrangement of energy going on or something is being changed that will RESULT in a HIGHER vibration manifesting for the BEST for all concerned.  We may not always like these changes when they happen and they may not look "right" but in the end and in hindsight, (hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20) you will see why it needed to happen that way.

I have my own example here.

If you'll notice, I did not write for a month between 2/26 and 3/26 because I moved and I started a new job that took up a LOT of my time on the learning curve.  

During that time, some events took place that I was SURE were happening but as it turned out, didn't really happen and I HAD to move.  Let me explain.

Back in September, I had moved in with a woman who is blind and needed help around the house with various things.  As I look back, one of my "mis-takes" was not getting more information about what was needed and who she was.  I really just didn't know what questions to ask at that point.  I thought the questions I did ask were enough.

As time went on, I was being asked to do things that weren't told to me up front and really, she didn't know were needed either, but it was stuff I didn't want to do because it got me involved in her "stuff".  lol  She also had a problem with alcohol and it was something she didn't want to do but felt it was the only thing that was going to help her sleep.  It wasn't so much her behavior that I was concerned about but that it messed with her memory.  She also was in front of the TV the whole time she was awake unless she went out which wasn't often.  That was very annoying to me as she had a voice activated TV remote that told her EVERYTHING as she did it and it was very loud and just on the other side of the wall from me.  I do not watch TV.

In early February, I left for a week to pet sit for a client.  When I came back, I was sitting on my bed and I looked over to the spot where I have my son's school picture and it was gone!  I wracked my brain to determine if I had moved it myself and taken it with me to my pet sit and I could NOT remember taking it with me.  

I asked my roommate if anyone had been in my room while I was gone and I told her my son's picture was gone.  She said no, so my only other choice was that my roommate had taken it.  She had told me that I needed to stop talking to her about spiritual stuff because she was convinced that her bout of diverticulitis was because of me.  I had to partially agree with her.  Only partially because while I was aware that she wasn't "digesting" the information I had given her, it was her choice as to what she thought about it.  So what my mind made up as to why she would have taken my son's pic was that she was mad at me for getting her sick.  

I told her that regardless of WHO took my picture, I no longer felt my room was safe without a lock on it.  She thought about it for a few days but by then, I had already changed the knob on my door. (my bedroom door did not have a lock on it at all) She decided that she didn't want her apartment on "lock down" lol and I told her that it wasn't the WHOLE apartment (eyeroll) that I wanted a lock on my door for MY peace of mind.  I didn't tell her I had changed the doorknob.  By this time I had decided I was going to move.  Whether it was her and she was lying or didn't remember or it was someone else, my privacy had been violated and my decision to leave was out of love of my self and my privacy.

I kept the old lock so when it came time to leave, I could put it back on so she could have it the way she wanted it.  

I left again for a few days with my door locked and when I came back, I noticed that someone had left a LOT of toilet paper in the trash can and I KNOW it wasn't me.  I do not use a foot of TP to pick my nose with which is what it looked like had been done.  By now, the upstairs neighbor was involved and I figured that she and my roommate had figured out I had changed the lock and to spite me, had used a credit card to get in.  I know this works because I did it myself with my own card to test my theory.

A few days later, I got a note on my door that said I need to move and that if I ever tried to argue with her or make any accusations of her, she would call the police. (another eyeroll, like she needed to do that)  I know this was at the encouragement of the upstairs neighbor.  Little did I know that when I walked in that night and she disappeared into her room, she was calling the police.  Before they got there, I sat down with her and told her that she was right; that I had not respected her right to live life the way she wanted and that I was going to do my best to move BEFORE her deadline.  As I finished, the look on her face was one of surprised and just after finishing my apology to her, there was a knock at the door.  I opened the door and there were two police officers standing there.  I invited them in and was actually GLAD they were there so I could tell MY side of the story which is why they were there anyway!  lol

After they left, we "made up" and made a plan for me to come back (I was pet sitting again) and watch "X Files" together on Wednesday night.  Some time after that, either that night or the next day, I don't remember, I went to get some of my Kombucha that I made off the kitchen counter that was covered by a cloth and I found one bottle OPEN!  (I know I didn't leave it open and it didn't open itself!) That was IT!  I was convinced that she was doing her best to "get back at me" or at the very least, the neighbor was trying to fuck with me.  I left and went back to my pet sit where I called the police and told them what I had found.  The officer gave me a choice; I could drop it and let it go or I could have him go over there to talk with my roommate and get her side of the story.  In hindsight, this was the decision that was crucial on my part.  I struggled with it, knowing how it was going to affect my relationship with my roommate and that we had just "made up".  

I chose to have him go over and talk with her.  After that, her whole attitude toward me changed and it became very stressful (for her) to have me around.  I was fine.  I was happy even though I had to find a place to move to and it really surprised me that I WASN'T more stressed.  I kept my door locked with a piece of duct tape over the place where the latch is so if it was moved, I'd know.  I made sure that I was there as little as possible and when I was, I was in my room which was normal for me anyway.  

I was able to move a full WEEK before I needed to to a wonderful house with a CONSCIOUS couple that have a dog, a cat and chickens living at the house.  I hadn't realize what a toxic environment I had been living in until I moved!  

I want to make it clear here... I find nothing wrong with my former roommate.  The bottom line was that we were not a vibrational match to each other.  Part of who I am is that I am able to adapt to various situations as I need to and when I picked up Lynda in my taxi and she told me about her room for rent, I was actually looking to move because my former roommates before her had chosen to rent out their extra bedrooms to AirBnB people and I was OVER it!  lmao  It wasn't working well for me at all with the "revolving door".  I liked her when I met her and it seemed like what she needed was reasonable and I was willing to help her out.  

I see that whole situation as an opportunity to further refine my values and see that it's not always in my best interest to help someone.  At least I wasn't "pushy" with her as I have been in the past.  She did want to make changes to her lifestyle, however, because she was/is wrapped up completely in the allopathic medical system, it's going to be difficult for her and she was not ready for what I had to share with her and did not like my suggestions.  I'm grateful that I was able to recognize that what she needed and what I had to offer were not in synch and it was better for both of us that I left.  

I DID follow my heart in my decision to move in with her, however, the cheap rent and the  convenience of having a health food store and coffee shop right next door was enough to keep me in that toxic situation.  When I made the choice to move, the Universe took control and orchestrated events to that I would HAVE to move because otherwise, I would have stayed since we "made up".

I have to say, until I saw all this in hindsight, it was very perplexing to me why it happened this way.  I say this because a couple of weeks after I moved, I found the picture of my son that I thought was stolen.  One one hand, I felt bad that I had accused my roommate of stealing it but on the other, after some contemplation, I realized that it had to happen this way because I AM so adaptable and I WOULD have stayed there and it was better that I left.  

I know this was a looong explanation as to why things don't always look "right" when they are happening but hopefully you can see what I mean because it all worked out for the best.  I have not been back to see Lynda since I moved and I'm not sure if telling her that I found that picture and apologizing to her would be the best thing.  I have thought about it.  

I'm just going to trust that she is getting the guidance and help that she needs at her level that she can handle.  I was a little too much for her! lol  Again, there is nothing wrong with what she is doing, I didn't agree with her lifestyle and she had issues with my "help".  And it's all OK.  

I left on top because even though I did experience frustration and a bit of anger, I handled it well and didn't have a "tantrum" over it.  Even when I thought I had lost my son's picture forever, I got an even BIGGER one to replace it that hadn't been given away yet... lol  AND, it got a lock for my door out of my love of privacy and protecting it.  

All in all, I'm happy with how things turned out and my own behavior through it all.  I hope Lynda is happy and in a better situation and has the help she needs.👍💪😃💕

My thoughts on LGBTQ

Another controversial subject... just so you know, again, this is MY OPINION.

First of all, let me say that it's just ridiculous and silly that (some) of these people have to fight for equal rights just because they make different choices as to how they define themselves and their sexual choices.  Who's business is it anyway other than theirs?!  And why should we treat them differently?

Another silly... I can still remember when "gay" meant happy, not homosexual.  lol  I think I was 11 or 12 when I met a girl named Gay and I wondered if she knew what her name meant... it was at that time in the mid seventies that the term "gay" was being used to describe homosexuality. 

That's the short, nutshell version of my opinion of the labels we give these people in order to further separate them from the rest of us and make them wrong for their choices.  It's BULLSHIT!

Now, for my opinion on why these people choose what they choose, that will be a bit longer.

I look at it from a purely spiritual view.  If you have read other entries, you'll understand that I believe that we all layout our paths of our next lives before we incarnate into them so that would denote that it's our own individual choice as to what we want to experience in any particular life.  This would include having a preference for the same gender sexually, using surgery to change gender, having attraction to both genders, being born engendered with both female and male sex organs, (hermaphrodite) and looking somewhat androgynous.  

I have noticed in recent years that there are more 20 and 30 somethings that look like they could be either gender and I've been tempted more than once to ask but rather than take the chance that I may offend someone, I don't because it's just curiosity and I don't really need to know.  I'm often fascinated when I see people that look like they could be either gender.  

Androgyny is our natural state when not embodied in one gender or the other.  The embodiment of either is part of duality and polarity in this dense 3rd dimension.  I have read many times from many different sources that our spiritual essence has both energies of male and female without a body and that it's just for the purpose of experience that we embody one or the other.

As far as being homosexual and where that comes from... I have heard people who label themselves as "gay" that they were born that way and that there is nothing they can do about it.  They also often say that they feel like a man in a woman's body or vice versa.  It is my personal opinion and speculation that from a spiritual point of view that these people may have had many, if not all, of their previous lifetimes as one gender and then for this lifetime, they choose the other.  That would at least attempt to explain why these people feel the way they do.  Other possible explanations would be that either of their male or female energies is very much out of balance, it could be part of the energy of their name and lastly, it could be just a choice to be the a strong example for the rest of us for the need of acceptance; that it doesn't matter what you look like or how you label yourself or GET labeled, we are all Humans and NOT our labels.  We all deserve the same acceptance from each other.  As always, that starts with accepting ourselves first.  I've noticed, it's only the people who have a hard time accepting themselves that get "picked on".  I know, I've been one (not LGBTQ, just picked on) until I came to accept myself 100%.

There are some cultures that regard their LGBQ members to be of a higher status than the standard citizen because of their (assumed?) perception that (more is better?) lol  I wish I could remember where I read that so I could accurately convey what was meant.  I admit I made up that last line! lol😜

There could be other reasons that I haven't even thought of as to the whys and wherefores of being LGBTQ.  

At least I see the tide turning over this issue.  I've not ever had anything personal against this way of being, however, I will admit as a young person back in the 80's, under the influence of powerful media, I was not as willing to accept these people as they were and I had my judgments about them.  That, of course, was because I had my judgments about myself and had not yet come to accept myself as I do now.😉

My thoughts on Racism

This is going to be short because I find it utterly ridiculous that people even make an issue out of this!

In my experience, the color of our skin makes no difference in who we are at a Core level.  We are not our bodies and to focus on the color of our skin means to detract from the fact that we are Spiritual Beings PRETENDING to be Human.

ALL LIVES MATTER!  Not just "Black Lives" because we ALL belong to the HUMAN Race first.  The color of our skin is secondary.  People don't even realize the separatist statement they are using by saying, "Black Lives Matter".

To me, all the different skin colors represent the beautiful rainbow of people in Unity that we have on our planet that create a beautiful Mandala as we are scattered around the globe.

Skin color is also representative of the area of the globe we're from but in no way does it give any credence to one color being better than another just because you come from a certain country or area of the Earth.  That's purely an ego trip! 😜LMFAO!

It doesn't help that the MSM PROMOTES racism and one color being better over another.  I think the "white privilege" and "white supremacy" narratives fit in there as well.

In order to unite, the ignorant ones will need to have an "ah ha" moment of personal revelation in order to come to the conclusion that one "race" is NOT better over another and that we are all Human first.😉💗💑

 

What matters most is how we treat each other... not what part of the globe we come from.  There are as many "blends" of personality as shades of color of our skin that determine how people are going to interact with each other as well as how well we can settle our perceived "differences".  

 

I realize that BLM has come about as a resistance to the suppression that this particular group has experienced and it IS something that has happened over time. 

 

Margaret Sanger (the founder of Planned Parenthood) started this organization in an effort to ELIMINATE the Black people as they were thought to be inferior.  

 

There have been many movements against ALL colors... even White people but I can tell you, from the research I've done, that EVERY color of people have had slaves... Blacks had Black slaves BEFORE Whites as well as Native Americans and Whites have enslaved their own color as well. 

 

In order to understand this phenomenon, you have to go back many centuries to fully understand the bigger picture here.  

 

Also, not all Black people feel suppressed!  There is so much that goes into this subject, it's too big for this blog post! 

What's more important is letting go of the resistance to it and finding your own path that supports who you are as a Spiritual Being and finding your confidence to BE yourself no matter what others think of you.  There are going to be "others", for the time being, that will find things that are different about "others" in order to separate themselves and attempt to "elevate" themselves so that THEY can feel better about themselves given what they believe about themselves.  It's only in believing what we are told by another that we suppress ourselves because if you don't believe it, you're not succumbing to those false beliefs.  It only matters what we think of ourselves.  

 

What we believe about ourselves gets reflected back to us from "the other".  So if you find yourself getting triggered by what someone else says about you then you are unaware that you agree with it, however, it is also NOT the Truth.  We need to examine what we believe about ourselves and choose thoughts that feel better because those thoughts that feel good are the ones aligned with the Truth.

 

The main reason skin color has been used as way of suppressing people is because it's a tool of the "elitists" to divide and conquer people given that most people have the belief that we are just our bodies.

 

Racism (as well as all the other "isms") havs been used as a tool of separation to divide and conquer by certain groups.  This causes people to fight each other and makes it easier to manipulate us into fear... that because you're a "different color" or religion or gender or (whatever, fill in the blank) that I must fear you.  That allows these hidden elitists to further their own agenda to "take over".  I mean, come on!  That has been going on FOREVER!!!  Even on a larger scale with wars over our PLANET!  It's nothing new really.  Stop buying into it!  And to do that you have to change how you see YOURSELF!😀 

 

See yourself and KNOW yourself as the Divine Light being of Love that you are because THAT IS the TRUTH!

 

 

Condemnation

This is a conversation I heard in my head that I thought would be good to write about.  It's a post on the website/app NextDoor that I saw but chose not to comment on.  It's about condemning people when they are doing their best to merge back into society after being in jail or prison for things like rape, murder, child molesting and other heinous crimes.

I already know there will be people who will not agree with me, however, hear me out anyway.😉

This is what my response would have been to the comment I saw someone post about a convicted sex offender moving into their neighborhood.

First of all, I don't agree with making it known who these people are.  All it does is promote fear and judgment of the people in question. (they've already been judged and they've paid their debt or they wouldn't be out)  It promotes an attitude that does not allow these people to move on and be productive members of society.  

When I was in Hawai'i, I had a few women point out people (men) that were in the area that were on the sex offender website.  They were well meaning in thinking that "I should know" so I could avoid these people and not be hurt by them but to be honest, I wanted to tell them to mind their own business and worry about themselves because I don't live my life in fear of other people.  

One thing that people don't realize about being labeled a "sex offender" is that all one has to do to acquire that label is be caught peeing in public.  Doesn't seem fare, does it?  We judge people based on the labels that have been attached to them even when they are inappropriate.

Before I knew who these people were, I acted pretty normal with them.  One of them was actually pretty nice and it was obvious that he was doing his best to be a better person and he was also the manager at a store so he was hard to avoid.  Part of his job was interacting with the public.  

After I was told who he was and I saw for myself that he was indeed on that site, I found myself more wary of him and having thoughts that I didn't like to have about him but were there nonetheless.  I hadn't had those thoughts until I had the seed planted in my head of "who he was".  

Most of the time I have a pretty good sense of who to avoid anyway without knowing why or having any "dirty details" about them.  All of the other men were ones I avoided naturally or never saw anyway. 

Having this attitude of condemnation about people's dirty labels does not allow them to move on because it keeps them in that energy.  They are constantly reminded by the people around them of the "bad things" they have done in the past.  It keeps the past alive and unless they are strong enough to turn a silent ear and move forward on their own without the support of their neighbors, people often lapse back into their "bad habits" because it's easier.  They often don't have the strength of will and sometimes lack the desire to change because that change does not come easy.  It means acknowledging the hurt that one's actions have caused people and wanting to do something about it.  It means having the courage to face our darkest "demons" and coming to terms that while these are still parts of ourselves, we don't have to act on what these parts want to do like revenge, murder and the taking of power from others like rape and other sex crimes.

If people could look past the egregious acts people have done and forgive them, it would give the convicted hope because people are showing them that while they have been "bad" people, they are getting another chance to get it right and be better people.  They are not being held "in the past".

Does that mean we have to accept everyone as a friend or into our home that has been convicted of a heinous crime?  NO!  We have to use our best intuitive guidance in any given situation.  Accept them as people who have made a mistake and deserve a second chance.  They wouldn't be out of jail or prison if they were still a threat to society.  It doesn't mean we have to have ANY kind of relationship with them but we don't have to make it hard for them to have their second chance either!  

Most people are stuck in fear about everything.  Look at how that is perpetrated and supported through the media!  It's not a wonder that convicts have a hard time living their life on the outside of prison because of the negative publicity they get!  And what's worse is people BUY IT!  They don't think for themselves and put themselves in that position to see how they would feel with that treatment.  

Love heals everyone of all things. Condemning people is NOT love and does nothing to help people change and heal.  Acceptance is the simplest form of love that still allows people to change.  Resistance to what is only makes things worse.  If you have a convicted sex offender moving into your neighborhood, keep an eye on him, not out of fear of what he might do but out of love for your family and accept that he has every right to be there.  He's going to be somewhere and better out in society where he can support himself then taking up space in a privatized prison that YOU are paying for... besides, condemning is a form of judgment and judgment only hurts the person doing the judging.  They are really judging themselves about something and just unaware of it.  

Everyone needs our compassion and understanding especially of ourselves.  It's only when we don't have it for ourselves that we don't have it for others.😉💗

My New Job (can I get an eye-roll please)

The new job I took on back on the 1st of March is proving to be more about dealing with some ego issues than for the extra money.  I originally took it because it got me out of the roommate situation I was in an gave me the extra money to move.

Now, I'm finding that while it's been a challenge learning how to make eye-catching flyers and dealing with presenters who take their time getting me their stuff, I'm realizing that (my employer) is bringing up my "stuff"; the very defensive part of me that has yet to relinquish its position in my psyche!  lol  I have to laugh because, to me, it's hilarious and at the same time, very frustrating.  I feel it's this part that is so tenacious of its job is the one part of me that is holding me back from being completely balanced.  I'm very aware of how protective this part is and it's even more obvious when it comes to my employer because she is one of the most gentle, understanding and compassionate people I know.  

I'm not the only one who makes the flyers.  Sometimes my employer makes ones that she wants to look a certain way and rather than explain to me what she wants, she just does them herself.  My defensive part takes offense at that; seeing it as she doesn't trust me to do it and another part thinks, "What's the big deal?  She's helping you do your job!" and then I hear, "Yeah but I have to redo the flyer anyway because of the program she has used.  It doesn't translate to the program I use..."  

It appears, from what I've had to deal with with this part (myself) is that this part thinks it knows better than my employer how to do this job!  She's been running the Caritas Center for many years now and another part of me is very aware that she knows better than I how to do this job and what she needs from me. 

I'm also hesitant to follow through with requests that she makes to do things a certain way.  Like today, I had to fix a link that didn't work in our bulletin that goes out every two weeks.  She wanted me to send out the flyer I had made for it ahead of when I had it scheduled and I told her I was not going to send it out today as I had it scheduled for Saturday.  I had to apologize to her after I thought about it for a bit and I got another email from her saying... "like I said..."  I realized this part does NOT like being told what to do and also needs an explanation of WHY we need to do something a certain way.  I told her this was a hold-over from when I was in the military and I don't agree with "just doing what I'm told." 😜

So it appears that having this job isn't just about the money and while it was a lot more stressful at the beginning, it is getting easier and I don't have to spend as much time "figuring things out" as I did in the beginning, however, I still question how much I need this job and I keep evaluating in my head the pros and cons of keeping it.  

I am grateful that it has brought up stuff I need to work on, however, the money I get for this job doesn't seem to compensate me for the time I work on it.  One of the best things about doing this job is I can do it from anywhere and the other is that I get first-hand knowledge of what events are happening.  I also get to go for free to any of them if I volunteer to greet people as they come in and help set up.

I know I won't have this job forever and I can't help but think that it's helping me adjust to being busier than I'm used to being as well as helping me realize what I need to work on in my self.  

I'm just grateful I can see that and I can own it!💗🙌😌