Introspection, Doing "The Work" and The Ripple Effect

Introspection (to look within) is a wonderful, insightful and empowering way to look at yourself.  I enjoy knowing myself in this way as I get incredible insights into why I think the way I do, why I act the way I do and to witness the changes I experience from doing so.

All one has to do is to just be curious about what is going on inside the mind.  There is no need to fear ourselves or ANYHTING "out there".  Curiosity is what dispels fear.  It is the crux of "Know Thyself".  By knowing ourselves we can see what the ego is up to and we can catch ourselves falling into the "fear trap".  Fear is what stops us from moving forward on ANY issue.  Following through with curiosity helps us to understand ourselves better to we can step through the fear and move forward even if it's just baby steps.

The other side of the coin of "Know Thyself" is knowing our god self; the loving, compassionate side of ourselves which is Who We Really Are.

The "work" I talk about is really sharing that compassion, forgiveness and understanding with the ego self.  Acknowledging our fears, understanding where they come from and forgiving them to allow that movement forward.

Every time we participate in this process and we move forward out of our fear, we raise our vibration and it affects the collective.  (the ripple effect) We are all connected.  It looks something like how science depicts the connections between our neurons in our brains.  (as within, so without).  We don't see this energetic connection but it IS there.  It's mentioned when we talk about the "six degrees of separation" or you may feel it when you meet someone you really resonate with.

We don't always (almost never) get to see how the positive changes we create in ourselves ripples out and plain affects other people or inspires them to start their own process of change.  Sometimes it's obvious in the moment when you may offer an act of kindness to another or you get some feedback from someone you helped.  Most of the time we have no idea how our own accomplishments on a personal level may be affecting anyone...

We just have to trust that it's happening even though we may not have an awareness of it.  It is the BEST way for us to be in service to others.  We get the first benefit of doing our own "work" because we are the only ones that can do it for ourselves and others benefit as well through that ripple effect.

Some keys to remember... Be curious, see your fears from a neutral perspective (without judgment), be SUPER honest with yourself (this is crucial) and make sure that you feel compassion for yourself.  It does no good to feel sorry for yourself; this is NOT compassion but sympathy and it is NOT empowering.  You want the feeling of empowerment and satisfaction to come from sharing your own love with your ego.  

Ego is NOT bad as we are taught.  It is simply the part of ourselves that chose to separate from our Core Self (Love) in order for us to experience duality.  That's just part of the "game" we are playing with ourselves here.  Without duality, there is no challenge and no growth.  That is why we are here.

If everyone were to allow for time to "do their work" during each day, we could be a lot further down this path of ascension collectively.  We would not look to others to "save us".  This process is what saves ourselves!  

It does not take much time at all, once you start down this path, to see your fears dissolve, feel better about yourself and to feel empowered (let go of victim-hood).  We are ALL capable of doing our own work.  There is NOTHING we can't overcome!

I tell you all of this because I'm living proof that what I have written here is true; it is my EXPERIENCE.  This is THE BEST tool I can share with all of you.  Now that you have it, be curious, be gentle with yourselves and have FUN with it.  Learn to laugh at yourself... don't take your self so seriously!  It will all be OK!

Love you All😄💖

Frustration!

I have this "friend" and I put friend in "" because even though I've known this person for 18 years, she has never made it into my "inner circle" of friends.  Maybe on a spiritual level she could be but here, she is a source of frustration and annoyance! lol

Her behavior is what annoys me and recently, her ego has become VERY apparent in her assumptions of what she believes is going on inside MY head when I know she CAN'T know what is in my head unless she became a mindreader overnight and that she is just projecting what is unconscious in her own!  

This post will serve as much as a vent for my frustrations as it will to pick apart my own thought process around (this person) and why she is in my life and how she is serving me through triggering my frustration and annoyance.

If I use the knowledge I have and look at myself and ask, what am I frustrated about, I get that I'm frustrated at how long my own process of illumination is taking and I'm annoyed at my own annoyance of Mary. (that's not her real name, but that's what I'll call her here) I don't want to be annoyed with her.  I want to have compassion for her.  

From where I sit and with all the work I've done on myself, I can see that she has little if any self awareness.  She is not aware that her need to be "right" is an indication that she is coming from her ego. 

Mary has had some spiritual experiences that may or may not have happened.  If they did, it appears that her ego is trying to take responsibility for these experiences when it was her core self that had these experiences and her ego was only witness to them. 

She was in a spiritual study group that is led by my employer and while I may not agree with everything that was discussed, she left the group after she got in a major disagreement with my employer over the material of the Spiritist Book that was being covered.  Mary somehow seems to think that because she has had these experiences, that now she "knows it all" and is beyond any kind of teaching.  EGO!!!

It is also possible that because she continues to deny MY experiential wisdom as if I know NOTHING, that she is making up her experiences as a way to "fit in" with the spiritual community that we live in.  I don't know for sure, however, her "making me wrong" about what I KNOW to be true is an indicator that she could be lying; applying my findings of what comes out of our mouth is about US especially when we are talking about someone else.  She is WRONG in her assumptions of what she thinks she knows.

Mary is also dyslexic.  This outward manifestation is an inner indicator of just how backwards she sees things and this leads to her insistence that her view is the truth and everyones else's knowledge is false based on the so-called spiritual experiences she says she has had.  This is how I interpret what is going on with her per my experience of her and her apparent disregard of what I DO KNOW from experience.  (even after I tell her how I know!)

OK, so describing what I have gone through with Mary is the foundation for me questioning myself about why don't I have compassion for her.  Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I haven't forgiven myself yet for my own ignorance and thinking I know the truth better than someone else.  I have not yet found compassion for myself in this regard.  I can honestly say that I still go through the latter, however, it comes from a place of experience and then the question comes up of: "Is my experience of things more valid than someone else's experience of the same thing?".  I'd have to say no and that our interpretation of said experience is what is going to be different depending on where we are coming from; ego or core Self.  If it's interpreted through the ego, there is a good chance that it will be misinterpreted completely and if ego is kept out of the way of the experience then the core Self will not have to interpret what happened but will KNOW without doubt what the experience was about.  That is rare in my opinion and coming from my own experience in looking back at my interpretation of my own dreams and random things that have happened.  It's only in hind sight that I clearly see what something was about.  There have been rare moments where I knew in the moment what my experience was about.

Then there is the frustration... I am frustrated on many levels with different things.  I'm frustrated with myself, other people, how long this ascension process is taking, how long it's taking "others" to "get it" and awaken.  I'm frustrated with my friends and family and there is actually a little pain there as well at being thought of as "crazy" in my belief of "conspiracy theories" and how I choose to live and do things.  I know in time, I will be vindicated!  lol  I won't say, "I told you so." to anyone but I will be thinking it!  lmao  Then people will realize that I wasn't so "crazy" after all.  haha

Then there is the tiredness.  I'm exhausted emotionally dealing with people.  Not always; it's only when I let the negative expressions like frustration etc get their way and take hold that I get exhausted.  I'm not always able to laugh at every situation especially when it affects me personally like having someone in my life like Mary...  that is why, at the moment, she is my greatest teacher.  When I am finally able to sit down with myself and look at myself with compassion and forgive what is there will she either disappear from my life or I will be able to see her with compassionate eyes and realize that it's her ignorance of spiritual study and her lack of self awareness that, in my opinion is her major stumbling block to a better understanding of her self and the absolute Truth of us as Spiritual Beings.

Gratitude/Appreciation relating to the LOA (Law of Attraction)

Gratitude and appreciation are at about the same level on the emotional scale.  They are what I practice every day to help keep my energy high and on the positive side.  Actually, I don't have to even try to do this.  It happens naturally as a side effect of being Happy!

I can remember when it was very hard for me to find gratitude; things to be grateful for.  I was in a very low place with myself and it used to even anger me to look at this sticker on the vent hood of my stove in the kitchen that said, "attitude of gratitude brings miracles".  It was put there by the previous tenant and I left it because I did like it.  That was over 10 years ago right before I decided to go to Hawai'i.

When I talk about the emotional scale, this is what I mean.  I've included this link because it shows the best example of what I'm talking about.  She also gives some other relevant and good information.  You'll notice that gratitude and appreciation are not listed.  I would put them in below contentment; at the start of the scale because just saying, "thank you" can lead to contentment and then you move up from there.

Gratitude and appreciation are at the foundation of everything "good" that we create.  You want to be in these positive emotions if you are interested in manifesting something you actually want.  Our emotions are the driving force behind our creations so you want to make sure you feel "good" while you're thinking about what you want.  You have 7 seconds to change your attitude if you do NOT feel "good".

Changing how you feel works best if you start with the lower Love vibrations on the scale because they are the bottom "steps" on the scale.  It's much harder to feel the higher vibrations much like it would be to jump from the floor to the top step of a staircase.  Start with the first step, it's easier.

Gratitude and appreciation are the easiest of the love vibrations to start with if you are feeling low because it is generally easy to find things to be grateful for.  If you're one that is on a path of self improvement, then this will be easy.  You can be grateful for the current situation; that you are getting to see a side of yourself that needs attention.

If you are not on the path of self improvement but want to feel better, appreciation is still a good start.  Start with small things like appreciating a blue sky or a pet or another loved one.  Find little things about them that you like to appreciate like the soft coat of a dog or cat.  Animals in general are a great way to help us feel better because they give us love regardless of how we're feeling unlike people.  Getting out in nature can be healing all by itself because Nature just IS and it's easier not to have any judgment about it.

Beauty as a tool to see where you are:  You know the saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"?  I think this saying came about not just because we all have different definitions of what "beauty" is but also because when we are feeling low on the emotional scale, it's hard to find things as beautiful and as you move up the scale, looking at the same thing can and does look different when you feel better.  It's also like when you're "in love" and everything looks beautiful no matter what you're looking at.  Everything is "right" with the world and nothing can go wrong.  How we see things is dependent upon how we're feeling.  I'm sure everyone has had the experience of things looking different to us based on our mood.  I've had many experiences of this with people.  One minute the person in front of me can look very appealing and then they open their mouth and out comes something mean, rude or totally stupid and suddenly they don't look as good.  Basically it's my judgment of what they said that is changing MY attitude about them and that's why they look different to me.  They haven't really changed, I changed.  How we see things is based on how we feel.

The flip side of all this is judgment/complaining.  We are ALWAYS using the LOA.  If you find yourself in judgment (calling things right and wrong) and/or complaining about things, you are giving negative emotions as the driving force to your thoughts and then you will receive more to complain about.  Using ANY emotion on the negative side of the scale as the driving force with your thoughts will give you what you DON'T want.

The Universe makes no preference as to what it gives us.  That preference is up to us.  That's why is SO important to CARE about how you feel and to find things that make you feel good so that you can create what you WANT.  If you're not feeling good, then it's up to you to take charge of your feelings and not let the ego run the show.  You have to make different choices and it starts with letting go of the negative emotions.

The only purpose of negative emotions is to show us where we are on the emotional scale so that we can make the choice to feel better consciously so that we are manifesting what we want and we can be genuinely happy.

Unfortunately, people get addicted to their negative emotions because they either are addicted to their own adrenalin or they have found that they get the attention they want.  In my opinion, these people have the hardest time of changing how they feel because they have become accustomed to their negative emotions and have convinced themselves that they are "happy" when really, they're not.  They think they're happy because they are getting attention that is meeting a need.  The attention is coming from OUTSIDE instead of INSIDE and they are unable to meet the need themselves.

Remember, it's all about the experience and there really are NO mistakes even if you find yourself in a low place.  Maybe that's what you came to experience.  It's no fun but what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!  It's a test to ourselves to see if we're up for the challenge and we never give ourselves something we can't handle.

I've been through many "dark nights of the soul" but since learning about LOA and how to use it consciously, I have created a life I'm really happy with.  When I feel the need to change it, I have faith and trust in myself that I will create something even better!  

Judgment

It occurs to me that it's judgment that keeps us mired in the ego.  It took me a while to get over this but when I did, I felt much better.

Judgment is a distortion of discernment.  We need discernment while still in this density because of the polarity we still experience.  Once we leave this density and move into the next, less dense realm, I believe we will still have the need for it but it won't be distorted by the ego into judgment.  There won't be any more right/wrong, good/bad etc.  We will be beyond the need to experience duality.

If you are judging people with thoughts or words, then you are judging yourself about something.  We are taught to do this by everyone around us but especially the people we have the most contact with.  Stop judging yourself and you will automatically stop judging others.  You just won't have any interest in it.

What I have discovered is that everything that comes out of our mouth or happens (outside of us) is a direct reflection of what is going on in the conscious and unconscious mind.  Our thoughts do indeed create our reality and the now deceased Dr. Matsuru Emoto proved that with his study of how our thoughts imprint on water.  Also the symposium done in the 1950's with the "it's a particle, it's a wave" was the same thing even though science doesn't acknowledge that yet...

This is a tool you can use to "back engineer" to what thoughts created your reality.  Sometimes it's obvious, sometimes not so obvious.   The not-so-obvious stuff is what is unconscious.  We're likely to say it's "bad luck" or "it just happened" etc.  NOTHING JUST HAPPENS.  It all happened because YOU THOUGH ABOUT IT.  We don't create FOR each other either.  We can co-create but then there is usually some stumbling block of both parties accepting responsibility; blame usually comes into play and THAT'S a TOTAL waste of time!  It's not really necessary to know what thoughts created what; just that you take responsibility and make a different choice of what you do want now that you've created what you don't want.  Leave the blame and judgment out of it!

What helped me get over my own self judgment was that I found what I call "the neutral observer" which I believe everyone has.  I see it in my mind as the bridge between ego and Core Self.  If I could just observe something from a neutral perspective, I had no judgment of it; right or wrong.  First, I practiced this with simple things unrelated to myself so I could prove to myself that I could do it.  Then I practiced this with my own "stuff" while I told myself that, "I did the best I could with what I had at the time," or so and so did the best they could... I practiced telling myself that I really didn't know the truth unless I had asked questions to get to the truth and like most people, I made assumptions and believed them.  Now I ask questions instead of assuming I know which is ego.  Ego only knows what we teach it so it better be the truth! lol

It really did help to go back, using imagination, to particular events in my life that were troublesome. Events I wish had turned out differently or hadn't happened at all.  I used my imagination to make different outcomes.  I know this is not the "judgment" I started talking about but it's tied in.  It helps relieve the judgment by changing the outcome in our minds to something we like.  Since our thoughts create reality, why not change our past to something we can deal with if we couldn't deal with how it happened.  It feels good to do this also and empowers us to take control of our own mind instead of letting it control us.

I believe this is the "Mandela Effect" that is talked about on the net.  In one reality, Nelson Mandela died and in another (now) he is alive.  That's the gist of this phenomenon.  It's the thoughts that we think along with the emotion (gas) that gives life to our thoughts.  No gas, no manifestation.  Imagine of ALL of our thoughts manifested!  lol  What a pickle we'd be in.

I discovered when I eliminated the judgment of myself, not only did I have no desire to judge others, I quit gossiping; I don't even want to hear others do it!  I see everything from both sides and neutrally, I have no tolerance of judgment from others and couldn't care less how others may judge me.  I know they are just judging themselves.  We do it so we can feel better about ourselves but it doesn't really work like that.  It's a temporary "fix" at best.  I think we can actually get addicted to it because of the endorphin "high" we can get from making other people wrong so we can feel "superior".  What a fucking joke!

It feels SO much better to not have the judgment at all!  TRUE DAT!😌💖👍💪

Pot, Mary Jane, Marijuana, Reefer, Herb, Smoke...

I have extensive experience as a pot smoker.  I quit recently which I will cover at the end but let me start at the beginning...

I was seven years old and living NH.  My parents picked up this hippy hitchhiker that was going to Concord, the Capital of NH.  Ironically enough, the house we took him to was on a side street adjacent to the Capitol building.  lol I don't know how long we were there but I remember getting a "gun" from the guy we gave a ride to.  He made a circle with his thumb and index finger and put it over the bowl of the corncob pipe they were all smoking out of and blew smoke into my mouth.  I think I coughed but don't remember getting high.  I know I slept all the way home.

That was my very first experience with pot.  I've heard the first time you smoke, you don't get high because the receptors in your brain haven't been used yet so the first time is like a "primer".

Don't think bad of my parents, I don't.  I don't really know what was going through their heads but it's OK.

The next time I smoked was when I was 23.  I didn't know I was pregnant with my daughter and I took a couple of puffs and fell off one step... lmao.  Her Dad told me I'd had enough.  lol

Then it was when I met my son's father when I was 26 that I smoked again and it would be 25 years before I would quit completely.  Well... never say never and that is a trick to pacify the ego.  If you tell yourself, "you'll NEVER do fill in the blank again." be assured you will.  So I don't ever tell my self that I'll never do something, then I feel like I'm still in choice and who knows, maybe I will... lol😏

I've had varied experiences with it.  The bottom line is I quit because of a sudden revelation that I had.

For many years, I have heard/read and done my own research on our TRUE history.  What I have found is that we (our bodies) are genetically modified from indigenous beings from Earth.  We have been given DNA donated from many other ET races.  The DNA that many scientists call "junk DNA".  They have no idea what they are talking about or they have lied to us intentionally.  More likely the latter.

It suddenly dawned on me one day a couple of months ago that whomever created us put all of the receptors in our brains!  Yes, there are receptors in our brains made specifically for THC and all of the different CBD types.  It also occurred to me from the research I've done about black ops projects of the government and the research they did back in the 50's and 60's on now illegal substances like LSD etc. that it is entirely possible and probable that those receptors can be manipulated!  Not to mention that I've read that (they) are in the process of genetically modifying the plant.  Now that it's legal here, all kinds of 20 somethings have come here to grow and sell.  I liked it when my neighbor was growing and I knew where it came from.  Now, I have no idea who is growing it, what kind of energy or chemicals they are putting into it...  I've also in the recent past had experiences that I wasn't fond of.

Back in the day when I first started smoking regularly, I got pretty heavy into it and became a total "stoner"  😜lol.  I definitely over used it as an escape from the drudgery of "reality".  I would get what I called, "stupidified" after smoking too much.  I couldn't think straight and just get really goofy and talk too much or become totally withdrawn and need to get away from people.  As I got older, that started to shift when I would have experiences of "connecting the dots".  I'd get "downloads"; bits and pieces of information that would fit with what I already knew.   About a year or so before I quit, I was only using it in the evening for the most part.  I'd smoke at the end of the day and watch a movie.   Sometimes I'd use it when I'd felt anxious or needed a break from whatever was bugging me.  I felt like I was using it more consciously and it was a great help in relieving my anxiety.  Just before I quit, I was still having the "connecting the dots" experience and I was also having an experience that is hard to describe.  I didn't feel "stupidified" like in the past because I was only smoking a small amount; enough to fill the end of an eyedropper.  I'd get the "high" but my mind would feel fuzzy and I would forget small things and make what I thought were stupid mistakes.  I hated it!

So between the experience that I hated, not knowing where the stuff was coming from and the knowledge that my receptors could be manipulated, I quit.  I had been patiently waiting for the moment when I could finally let it go and this was IT!  I know because I have not missed it and I rarely think about it.  I have no more need for it for anxiety because there is no more anxiety.  Even the anxiety I felt when I was going through my stuff when I wrote "Let's Be Real" and "Rants", I never, not once thought, "OMG, I wish I had some pot!"  That is HUGE for me!  I'm really happy that it's no longer a strategy that I use!  I've only had one moment where I wished I had some and that was just to enhance the experience I had of watching, "The Shape of Water" with my friend Kenneth.  Turns out, I really didn't need it after all as we had SO MUCH fun watching the movie together without it!  And, I remember the movie.  😉