07 February, 2018

Pot, Mary Jane, Marijuana, Reefer, Herb, Smoke...

I have extensive experience as a pot smoker.  I quit recently which I will cover at the end but let me start at the beginning...

I was seven years old and living NH.  My parents picked up this hippy hitchhiker that was going to Concord, the Capital of NH.  Ironically enough, the house we took him to was on a side street adjacent to the Capitol building.  lol I don't know how long we were there but I remember getting a "gun" from the guy we gave a ride to.  He made a circle with his thumb and index finger and put it over the bowl of the corncob pipe they were all smoking out of and blew smoke into my mouth.  I think I coughed but don't remember getting high.  I know I slept all the way home.

That was my very first experience with pot.  I've heard the first time you smoke, you don't get high because the receptors in your brain haven't been used yet so the first time is like a "primer".

Don't think bad of my parents, I don't.  I don't really know what was going through their heads but it's OK.

The next time I smoked was when I was 23.  I didn't know I was pregnant with my daughter and I took a couple of puffs and fell off one step... lmao.  Her Dad told me I'd had enough.  lol

Then it was when I met my son's father when I was 26 that I smoked again and it would be 25 years before I would quit completely.  Well... never say never and that is a trick to pacify the ego.  If you tell yourself, "you'll NEVER do fill in the blank again." be assured you will.  So I don't ever tell my self that I'll never do something, then I feel like I'm still in choice and who knows, maybe I will... lol😏

I've had varied experiences with it.  The bottom line is I quit because of a sudden revelation that I had.

For many years, I have heard/read and done my own research on our TRUE history.  What I have found is that we (our bodies) are genetically modified from indigenous beings from Earth.  We have been given DNA donated from many other ET races.  The DNA that many scientists call "junk DNA".  They have no idea what they are talking about or they have lied to us intentionally.  More likely the latter.

It suddenly dawned on me one day a couple of months ago that whomever created us put all of the receptors in our brains!  Yes, there are receptors in our brains made specifically for THC and all of the different CBD types.  It also occurred to me from the research I've done about black ops projects of the government and the research they did back in the 50's and 60's on now illegal substances like LSD etc. that it is entirely possible and probable that those receptors can be manipulated!  Not to mention that I've read that (they) are in the process of genetically modifying the plant.  Now that it's legal here, all kinds of 20 somethings have come here to grow and sell.  I liked it when my neighbor was growing and I knew where it came from.  Now, I have no idea who is growing it, what kind of energy or chemicals they are putting into it...  I've also in the recent past had experiences that I wasn't fond of.

Back in the day when I first started smoking regularly, I got pretty heavy into it and became a total "stoner"  😜lol.  I definitely over used it as an escape from the drudgery of "reality".  I would get what I called, "stupidified" after smoking too much.  I couldn't think straight and just get really goofy and talk too much or become totally withdrawn and need to get away from people.  As I got older, that started to shift when I would have experiences of "connecting the dots".  I'd get "downloads"; bits and pieces of information that would fit with what I already knew.   About a year or so before I quit, I was only using it in the evening for the most part.  I'd smoke at the end of the day and watch a movie.   Sometimes I'd use it when I'd felt anxious or needed a break from whatever was bugging me.  I felt like I was using it more consciously and it was a great help in relieving my anxiety.  Just before I quit, I was still having the "connecting the dots" experience and I was also having an experience that is hard to describe.  I didn't feel "stupidified" like in the past because I was only smoking a small amount; enough to fill the end of an eyedropper.  I'd get the "high" but my mind would feel fuzzy and I would forget small things and make what I thought were stupid mistakes.  I hated it!

So between the experience that I hated, not knowing where the stuff was coming from and the knowledge that my receptors could be manipulated, I quit.  I had been patiently waiting for the moment when I could finally let it go and this was IT!  I know because I have not missed it and I rarely think about it.  I have no more need for it for anxiety because there is no more anxiety.  Even the anxiety I felt when I was going through my stuff when I wrote "Let's Be Real" and "Rants", I never, not once thought, "OMG, I wish I had some pot!"  That is HUGE for me!  I'm really happy that it's no longer a strategy that I use!  I've only had one moment where I wished I had some and that was just to enhance the experience I had of watching, "The Shape of Water" with my friend Kenneth.  Turns out, I really didn't need it after all as we had SO MUCH fun watching the movie together without it!  And, I remember the movie.  😉

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