I'm sad today. Due to some unforeseen and unfortunate events with my Son's Great Grandmother that he and his father have been living with for the last 3 years or so, my Son has come to stay with me for a few days. While this, of itself, is something I've wanted, I'm sad because I realize that my Son will not ever live with me unless something happens to his Dad.
My son was part of the inspiration I had to have a better relationship with myself because I saw that I wasn't being the Mother I wanted to be with him. However, because I was gone so long to Hawai'i, my Son got used to living with his Father and after having him live with me for only a few days, I realize that living with him is much like living with his Father lifestyle wise.
I've thought I wanted to have my Son live with me so that I could teach him about ascension and be a better example for him than I was in the past. But I realize, that was one of my own ego trips. I had become attached to the IDEA of him living with me; having this unrealistic and somewhat romantic idea of how it would be living with my Son.😝
I'm still a better example than I used to be and I know my Son sees this because we've had discussions around that in the past, however, after living with him for just a few days, I realize that it would be more stressful than I anticipated because of how differently we live and I would unconsciously or consciously manipulate him into changing how he lives.
I would rather my Son make his changes by his own choice. I've had to make mistakes in my own life in order to make the healthy changes I have done and my Son has already demonstrated that he will need to do the same thing. Nothing wrong with that but as a parent, I was hoping to help him avoid that! lmao I was kidding myself... thinking that I could help my Son avoid contrasting moments when I have no idea what he came here to experience!
So I'm sad that I've hung onto this unrealistic idea of living with my Son for so long and that, now, I have to give it up.
I do have a few things to be grateful for... I'm grateful that I have a wonderful relationship with my Son for the sacrifices I've made for him, I'm grateful that I have had these few days with him to see that it would not really work for either one of us to live together and I'm grateful that we have a strong spiritual connection that will endure whatever happens. 😇
Upon this realization, I've wondered what it means for his ascension... I've now thought that maybe he came here to experience "the best of the last" which is what I've had to acknowledge for myself as I've seen in my own life. Also that he is here to help his Dad because from what I see of Dad, he's not going to make the cut to the next level of being. My Son even told me that he would still choose to live with his Father even though I'm back from Hawai'i for over 2 years now. I assume that neither one of them will make it and my Son will go to another 3D planet with his Father to continue the experience of duality.
I feel the time coming when the energetic separation will occur and I realize that maybe what I'm experiencing now is my time to let go before that happens.
I recently listened to a Kryon message that he mentioned that even if family members do get separated in the physical with this process, that we are still able to come together in the higher realms where our higher selves resides and laugh and joke about what is going on and the roles we have played in this Grand Game.
If my assumption about my Son and his Father are correct, then I have more to be grateful for... I won't have my Son in tow when I start my next leg of this journey to travel the world and teach people what the ascension process is about and how to lift their vibrations. I know this is coming because I've seen it for years... the vision of myself talking before a vast crowd of people. I've also had it foretold from having my palm read.
As I finish this post, it is the next day and I'm still a little down. I wanted to talk with my son about this but it didn't seem appropriate and I don't think he cares anyhow.
Energy is definitely shifting... I'm ready to go home as I've been dog sitting for the last week. I'm over picking up poop and cleaning up pee on the floor.😬
I need some nurturing and some love and affection. I'm feeling very alone right now...😢
My son was part of the inspiration I had to have a better relationship with myself because I saw that I wasn't being the Mother I wanted to be with him. However, because I was gone so long to Hawai'i, my Son got used to living with his Father and after having him live with me for only a few days, I realize that living with him is much like living with his Father lifestyle wise.
I've thought I wanted to have my Son live with me so that I could teach him about ascension and be a better example for him than I was in the past. But I realize, that was one of my own ego trips. I had become attached to the IDEA of him living with me; having this unrealistic and somewhat romantic idea of how it would be living with my Son.😝
I'm still a better example than I used to be and I know my Son sees this because we've had discussions around that in the past, however, after living with him for just a few days, I realize that it would be more stressful than I anticipated because of how differently we live and I would unconsciously or consciously manipulate him into changing how he lives.
I would rather my Son make his changes by his own choice. I've had to make mistakes in my own life in order to make the healthy changes I have done and my Son has already demonstrated that he will need to do the same thing. Nothing wrong with that but as a parent, I was hoping to help him avoid that! lmao I was kidding myself... thinking that I could help my Son avoid contrasting moments when I have no idea what he came here to experience!
So I'm sad that I've hung onto this unrealistic idea of living with my Son for so long and that, now, I have to give it up.
I do have a few things to be grateful for... I'm grateful that I have a wonderful relationship with my Son for the sacrifices I've made for him, I'm grateful that I have had these few days with him to see that it would not really work for either one of us to live together and I'm grateful that we have a strong spiritual connection that will endure whatever happens. 😇
Upon this realization, I've wondered what it means for his ascension... I've now thought that maybe he came here to experience "the best of the last" which is what I've had to acknowledge for myself as I've seen in my own life. Also that he is here to help his Dad because from what I see of Dad, he's not going to make the cut to the next level of being. My Son even told me that he would still choose to live with his Father even though I'm back from Hawai'i for over 2 years now. I assume that neither one of them will make it and my Son will go to another 3D planet with his Father to continue the experience of duality.
I feel the time coming when the energetic separation will occur and I realize that maybe what I'm experiencing now is my time to let go before that happens.
I recently listened to a Kryon message that he mentioned that even if family members do get separated in the physical with this process, that we are still able to come together in the higher realms where our higher selves resides and laugh and joke about what is going on and the roles we have played in this Grand Game.
If my assumption about my Son and his Father are correct, then I have more to be grateful for... I won't have my Son in tow when I start my next leg of this journey to travel the world and teach people what the ascension process is about and how to lift their vibrations. I know this is coming because I've seen it for years... the vision of myself talking before a vast crowd of people. I've also had it foretold from having my palm read.
As I finish this post, it is the next day and I'm still a little down. I wanted to talk with my son about this but it didn't seem appropriate and I don't think he cares anyhow.
Energy is definitely shifting... I'm ready to go home as I've been dog sitting for the last week. I'm over picking up poop and cleaning up pee on the floor.😬
I need some nurturing and some love and affection. I'm feeling very alone right now...😢
