Why You Want to Save Yourself

We all, at one time or another, have all chosen to be victims.  I have definitely gone through it myself.  It was part of the reason why I got together with my last committed relationship.  

It was 2010 and I had convinced myself that the proverbial shit was going to hit the fan very soon and Trump wasn't even in office yet!  😝 I remember having a thought that I wanted to be with someone who could grow their own food as I am NOT, in the slightest, interested in farming! lol  I was living in Hawai'i at the time and Monsanto was becoming a very big issue over there.  I was worried about our food supply.  As I think back, I think I was getting more of a warning from my Higher Self rather than a reason to commit myself to a severely traumatized individual who acted like a complete narcissist most of the time.

I realize that from an early age, I was brainwashed into thinking this way having bought into the whole "Disney" narrative that women are weak and need to be saved by a Man.  You can see this theme in most of their animated movies like "Snow White", "Cinderella" and "Sleeping Beauty".  This list goes on.  I'm sure you could think of a few on your own.😉

Let's be real here, while it may feel romantic to be swept off your feet by a handsome Prince, how often does that REALLY happen?👎😆  It's a subtle but very powerful technique (one of many) employed by "others" that wish to dis-empower us, steal our energy and devour our soul by convincing us we are "victims who need saving".  It does not matter who is behind this; only that you recognize it for what it is and that you shed that consciousness in favor of feeling empowered.

Why would you want to do that?  Well, I can say from experience that it feels much better to know that I am NOT a victim, that I don't need anyone to "save" me because I learned how to do that for myself and by doing so, I reap the benefits from it like having the confidence to take bigger risks because I have stretched my comfort zone, I have a greater connection to my intuition and I lead MYSELF rather than being led by someone else.

Everything that happens to me is of my own making and taking responsibility for it actually feels better than to convince myself "it's someone else's fault".  That's what the "victim" says.  

When we save ourselves, we are saving ourselves from our own ego that says we can't do something or denies responsibility and points to someone else.  Those "others" are really reflections of the different archetypes of our own ego that have been activated.  When we are faced or confronted by these "others", we are getting an opportunity to see something within ourselves that needs our love and support to heal.  

I know it seems like giving love to our ego would only exacerbate it's "bad" behavior but I can tell you, it doesn't.  These parts (archetypes) of ourselves calm down and behave better by dropping the "bad behavior" because they are receiving the attention they want from OUR OWN SOURCE OF LOVE.  This is the essence of Self Love... sharing our own compassion with our ego. 

When we love our ego, we are not condoning our "bad behavior" we are recognizing the need being expressed to be accepted and loved for it's role in our life.  I have found when I started doing this, I was not confronted as often or at all by "others" projecting their own needs onto me.  I stopped seeing as much "negativity" outside of myself unless I chose to put my attention on it.

This is how the world outside of us changes in reflection to the world inside of us.  As we "do our work" and express more compassion and understanding to our ego, it creates more harmony inside that is reflected outside. 

I got off on a tangent there but the point is to feel better.  It does not feel good to be a "victim who needs saving".  This is demonstrated in subtle ways and it takes a desire to recognize this and drop it by taking responsibility for EVERYTHING in our lives.  It may not seem like that would feel better but it does.  Taking responsibility is different than blaming ourselves.  Blame is still victimhood.  

The point is to pay attention to how we feel.  If thinking or doing something does not feel good then STOP!  Just stop.👮  

We have been programmed to discount our feelings, believe that feeling bad is somehow going to motivate us to change ourselves and look outside of ourselves for all of our answers.  I call BULLSHIT on ALL of that!  

Our feelings are our direct connection to our OWN SOURCE, we have a birthright to feeling GOOD and we only give ourselves the challenges that we can handle!  It's time that we wake up to all the bullshit that takes our energy and dis-empowers us whether that's coming from our own ego or someone else.  All that is required is a desire to do so.  

If you continue to choose victim consciousness, you give your personal power away by putting the onus on "others" to "fix" your life when you are perfectly capable of making positive life changes on your own.  Besides, you may not be happy with what someone else does so it makes no sense to leave what is your responsibility to someone else.

I'm not trying to shame anyone here and there is nothing (REALLY) wrong with temporarily adopting this kind of mentality.  It is part of our experience of duality for how do you know if you have or feel what you want if you first (or eventually) don't have the opposite experience?  This is the purpose of contrasting experiences.  The trick is not to get to comfortable with it and therefore dependent on "others" to keep you happy.  Only YOU can create your own happiness.  It's very easy to get addicted to the attention you get from being a victim but this is it's own trap.

Most of the time we have to get the "end of our rope" with ourselves or just feel so bad that we finally "give in" or surrender and that allows us to receive the guidance from within or through others that we trust to rise to the occasion to release victim consciousness.  You don't have to wait until you reach the bottom of the barrel so-to-speak.  You can make a conscious choice to Rise NOW.💓😊💪

Addendum 10/29/19

I meant to give, as an example, the short version of the story of the professor that helped the butterfly out of its chrysalis.  Basically, because the butterfly had gotten help (from the outside) to exit its self imposed "prison", it never learned how to fly.  The struggle IS what gives us our empowerment, that stretches our comfort zone and gives us the confidence and courage to keep going.  

Going through the birth canal is the first "struggle" that we encounter.  I believe that we do our children a great disservice by performing cesarean births on the Mother.  Just look at the root word; Cesar!  Cesar was a tyrant who subjugated and victimized his population.  (yes, there are certain circumstances that require cesarean birth but it is very much overused!)

The moral of the story is, by claiming the "victim" attitude and demanding that someone "save us", we are asking the professor to help us out of our chrysalis.  How are we to feel empowered and learn to fly if we take this path?  by negating our own struggle (the challenges we give ourselves) we give our personal power away without ever realizing it... that we even HAVE IT!  lol  I laugh at the irony here.  Going through the struggle and coming out the other side is what helps us realize that power.  This is why taking responsibility takes back our own power.  Our personal power (applied) is what is needed to overcome the ego; to MASTER it. 

One final note:  People don't have ANY power over you unless you GIVE it to them!  And REALLY, power over someone else is an illusion, an ego trip. 😉

Gratitude/Appreciation relating to the LOA (Law of Attraction)

Gratitude and appreciation are at about the same level on the emotional scale.  They are what I practice every day to help keep my energy high and on the positive side.  Actually, I don't have to even try to do this.  It happens naturally as a side effect of being Happy!

I can remember when it was very hard for me to find gratitude; things to be grateful for.  I was in a very low place with myself and it used to even anger me to look at this sticker on the vent hood of my stove in the kitchen that said, "attitude of gratitude brings miracles".  It was put there by the previous tenant and I left it because I did like it.  That was over 10 years ago right before I decided to go to Hawai'i.

When I talk about the emotional scale, this is what I mean.  I've included this link because it shows the best example of what I'm talking about.  She also gives some other relevant and good information.  You'll notice that gratitude and appreciation are not listed.  I would put them in below contentment; at the start of the scale because just saying, "thank you" can lead to contentment and then you move up from there.

Gratitude and appreciation are at the foundation of everything "good" that we create.  You want to be in these positive emotions if you are interested in manifesting something you actually want.  Our emotions are the driving force behind our creations so you want to make sure you feel "good" while you're thinking about what you want.  You have 7 seconds to change your attitude if you do NOT feel "good".

Changing how you feel works best if you start with the lower Love vibrations on the scale because they are the bottom "steps" on the scale.  It's much harder to feel the higher vibrations much like it would be to jump from the floor to the top step of a staircase.  Start with the first step, it's easier.

Gratitude and appreciation are the easiest of the love vibrations to start with if you are feeling low because it is generally easy to find things to be grateful for.  If you're one that is on a path of self improvement, then this will be easy.  You can be grateful for the current situation; that you are getting to see a side of yourself that needs attention.

If you are not on the path of self improvement but want to feel better, appreciation is still a good start.  Start with small things like appreciating a blue sky or a pet or another loved one.  Find little things about them that you like to appreciate like the soft coat of a dog or cat.  Animals in general are a great way to help us feel better because they give us love regardless of how we're feeling unlike people.  Getting out in nature can be healing all by itself because Nature just IS and it's easier not to have any judgment about it.

Beauty as a tool to see where you are:  You know the saying, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"?  I think this saying came about not just because we all have different definitions of what "beauty" is but also because when we are feeling low on the emotional scale, it's hard to find things as beautiful and as you move up the scale, looking at the same thing can and does look different when you feel better.  It's also like when you're "in love" and everything looks beautiful no matter what you're looking at.  Everything is "right" with the world and nothing can go wrong.  How we see things is dependent upon how we're feeling.  I'm sure everyone has had the experience of things looking different to us based on our mood.  I've had many experiences of this with people.  One minute the person in front of me can look very appealing and then they open their mouth and out comes something mean, rude or totally stupid and suddenly they don't look as good.  Basically it's my judgment of what they said that is changing MY attitude about them and that's why they look different to me.  They haven't really changed, I changed.  How we see things is based on how we feel.

The flip side of all this is judgment/complaining.  We are ALWAYS using the LOA.  If you find yourself in judgment (calling things right and wrong) and/or complaining about things, you are giving negative emotions as the driving force to your thoughts and then you will receive more to complain about.  Using ANY emotion on the negative side of the scale as the driving force with your thoughts will give you what you DON'T want.

The Universe makes no preference as to what it gives us.  That preference is up to us.  That's why is SO important to CARE about how you feel and to find things that make you feel good so that you can create what you WANT.  If you're not feeling good, then it's up to you to take charge of your feelings and not let the ego run the show.  You have to make different choices and it starts with letting go of the negative emotions.

The only purpose of negative emotions is to show us where we are on the emotional scale so that we can make the choice to feel better consciously so that we are manifesting what we want and we can be genuinely happy.

Unfortunately, people get addicted to their negative emotions because they either are addicted to their own adrenalin or they have found that they get the attention they want.  In my opinion, these people have the hardest time of changing how they feel because they have become accustomed to their negative emotions and have convinced themselves that they are "happy" when really, they're not.  They think they're happy because they are getting attention that is meeting a need.  The attention is coming from OUTSIDE instead of INSIDE and they are unable to meet the need themselves.

Remember, it's all about the experience and there really are NO mistakes even if you find yourself in a low place.  Maybe that's what you came to experience.  It's no fun but what doesn't kill you makes you STRONGER!  It's a test to ourselves to see if we're up for the challenge and we never give ourselves something we can't handle.

I've been through many "dark nights of the soul" but since learning about LOA and how to use it consciously, I have created a life I'm really happy with.  When I feel the need to change it, I have faith and trust in myself that I will create something even better!