"Immigration"

 I'm posting my comment to an article I read that's about Boulder.  This is where I live and it's a "sanctuary city".  Personally, I'm DONE with this BS.  I've included the article here so that you have the background and I'm including my comment because it has to be "accepted" before it's published.  Given that I'm in disagreement with what they are saying (basically they will be telling people how they can shelter illegal immigrants from ICE) and I'm not sure that the "facts" they presented are accurate with regard to warrants; there is no guarantee that my comment will be published.  

My comment:

I’m all for immigration, however, I want to KNOW that these people came here LEGALLY. I want Boulder to be DONE as a sanctuary city. There is NO WAY of telling who is a criminal and who isn’t by looking at them and that is a BIG problem. All you have to do is go to Nextdoor and read the threads of how crime in Boulder has risen since being a “sanctuary city”. The only people who have something to REALISTICALLY fear are those who came here illegally and those who hired some of these people who are afraid they may have to do their own house cleaning, yard work or lose their favorite fast food restaurant. The “Swamp” is deep and wide and people are kidding themselves if they think corruption isn’t found in Boulder. Personally, I’m grateful that the wall is being finished, people are being sent back to where they came from and criminals are being put where they belong. Let’s not forget, OBAMA deported MILLIONS of people so let’s not cry “boo-hoo” just yet. Let those who came here as “victims” go back and elect a leader that will put them first so that they can be proud of the country they came from instead of running away “for a better life somewhere else”. It’s high time EVERY human being stands up for themselves to be treated as such! Why should we be protecting these people when we have people that LIVE HERE LEGALLY that need to come first?! Let the chips fall where they may.  

Also, there doesn’t seem to be any consideration in this article to the people living here that are afraid to walk down the street alone or be out at night because they’re not sure if the person following them or ahead of them may be a criminal? You can’t just make this one sided. Boulder LEGAL residents MUST come FIRST!

A New Level of Self Worth and Value

Recently, I've had to "let go" of a few people in my life.  One person because when we hung out together, I didn't feel appreciated and I wasn't having fun.  It goes deeper than that but the point is, I have tried many times over the years to be with this person and it just hasn't worked out for me so I told her I didn't want to hang out with her anymore.  It felt like she was just using me to have SOMEONE to hang out with; not that there was anything special about me that it had to be ME at that moment she wanted to be with.  (energy vampire)  She actually said to me that she NEEDED more friends and then left me to go sit with some MeetUp group of women to chat them up when were were out together.  The nerve.  Clearly, just being with me wasn't enough.

The second is River.  While I'm grateful for the experience I went through with him albeit a painful emotional experience, I decided he wasn't worth my time or energy to continue this facade of friendship since he hasn't really acted as my friend.  He's only giving lip service to it while he continues to block me on his phone and instagram.  It's pretty clear that he only contacts me when he wants to use me like back in October when he and his girlfriend broke up and he tried to pass himself off as a "pleasure" guy and use me for sex.  He has never seen through or past his lust for me to see my true value as the REAL friend I could have been to him.  He only saw me as a "plaything".  He doesn't know I've cut him out of my life.  Not sure I really need to tell him either.  I've just been able to conveniently avoid him thus far.

The third is my Mom.  Yeah, I know how that sounds.  The last time I went to see her, I was already on edge emotionally (angry) and I warned her about it and apologized ahead of time if I seemed to have a short fuse.  When we were getting ready to leave, I started to fold up the chair that my stepdad had been sitting in to put it against the wall and she barked at me to leave it alone and called me an idiot.  It was that moment I realized very clearly that my Mom was never going to see me as anything other than the small child that she thought she could abuse verbally and she was never going to change her attitude about me either.  I could never do anything "right" according to her and she would be abusive in how she told me she wanted it done.  This is a "thing" that I struggle with myself having spent 9 months soaking up this abusive attitude while in her womb.  (YES!  this is a real thing.  Check out Masaru Emoto's research on water or go watch "What the Bleep do we know")

I barked back a warning to her and then left without giving her a hug.  

It's not a decision I took lightly.  I talked about it with my stepdad and he gets it.  He's had nearly 35 years of experience of her verbal and emotional abuse.  The thing is, I know I'm doing it for the right reasons.  In all three cases, I'm putting myself; my own needs and desires FIRST.  This is a healthy way of being selfish.  (There's always two sides to every coin so-to-speak)  Why should I (or anyone!) stay in a relationship where we feel unappreciated, abused or used?  

I wrote her a note to explain why I wouldn't be going to see her anymore which included the fact that even though I'm there, I feel invisible.  She has only cared about having Ralph there and even asked me NOT to play UNO with them when we came and I was only there twice a month anyway!  Even when I had something to share with her; some kind of update or critter video, she didn't really seem to care and was impatient to play their game.  I also made sure she knew that I loved her but I love myself more and I was DONE putting up with her abuse.  I was taking my space from her until she could change her attitude toward me and have some appreciation for me. 

I then put the note and a New Years Card my daughter sent to me with photos of her family INCLUDING the Great Grand Daughter my Mom will never see or meet into a Valentines Card which I then sent to the Loveland post office where they put a special stamp on it because the city is "Loveland" and it's Valentines Day (why is there NO eyeroll emojo here? lol) where she has lived for the last 10 years.  This was a tradition she used to follow when I was a kid and I thought she'd like it.

I'm not planning on this being permanent and I also told her that I don't hate her and this is not a punishment.  It's very simple; I value MYSELF, my time and when it's clear that people don't have the same appreciation for me that I do of myself, I take my leave.  I'm not going to waste my time "chasing" people for their attention or recognition.  I can do that for myself.  

I LOVE being alone.  Mostly (these days) because I can just BE in my own energy, I have peace and quiet and I don't have to endure someone's victim attitude.  I'm just over it.  I am no longer a victim of myself or other people.  This IS the choice we have.💪😇

I had been asking for help from the unseen realm for a way to open my heart to myself.  This was it.  I feel a new level of self confidence and love for myself because I took the necessary steps to do what I needed to do for myself.

I still Love all of these people in the sense that I accept them they way that they choose to be , however, in standing in my own power, I refuse to accept their behavior towards me if it's abusive whether if it's just taking my energy just to have me "around", pretending to be a friend for one's own benefit or verbal/emotional abuse.  I'm done.💖