This is an update to the "River" situation. About 5 weeks ago, I was aware that River was not doing well. I thought maybe his girlfriend had broken up with him and then I saw them both on a Saturday at the park and they did NOT play together. I was right... not long after that, River started "playing" with me. We even played a round together and it was OK. I knew something was up when he started texting me again; wanting to get together with me with a bottle of wine.
I let him come over; giving him the benefit of the doubt but pretty certain that he was there for one thing only. Right again. I took the opportunity to ask him all the questions that I had not been given the chance to ask. I'm not sure I really got all my questions answered... he admitted to me that he has a hard time telling the truth when he's face to face with someone...😯 If that's not an admission of being a liar, then I don't know what is. He also lied that he broke up with her when I know it was the other way around. He tried to play it as if he's all about pleasure when I know damn well that sex is a go-to for him when he needs to feel good; just like the drugs.
I told him no; several times. He did not want to take no for an answer. As I look back now, there are so many things I wish I would have said but I was so focused on getting what I wanted that I even brushed off his comment about not telling the truth face to face. I wish I would have asked him why that is.
What got him to leave is when I told him that "no" doesn't mean try harder and I didn't want him to have to apologize to me like he did the first time we ever had sex.
I texted him after he left and told him I'd think about it and he came back with "I don't think that's a good idea". Like wtf?! How could he have changes his mind so quickly after just leaving. I started to think about that and I came up with that he was only there for that night even though he framed it as we would hang out after that; have lunch etc.
The next day (literally) he was there with her again and somehow convinced her to take him back (after he'd told me he was going to have to avoid her) and they had a "second honeymoon"😆 what a joke!
Well, I think that has come to an end again. I only saw them briefly last Saturday but it wasn't looking too good.
I got what I needed from him which was a "do over". Even though I knew why he was there, I had no desire to be with him again so it wasn't hard to tell him no. This is what I should have done 2 years ago when we met up outside the park for our first kiss etc. I wish I would have asked him why he was there with me if he had a girlfriend.
I think he thought I was going to be an easy target given we'd already been there but I surprised him by refusing him and I did it with Love. I didn't get mad, yell or anything else negative. I had wanted an opportunity like this for myself... to take back my integrity with a different choice and I got it!
Now he hates me. He can't see that I was making a choice out of love for myself. All he could see was that he didn't get what he wanted. I have nothing but compassion for him. I've been in his shoes but many years ago. I can't hold it against him. He doesn't have the awareness of what he was doing hence... Forgive them for they know not what they do.
