Who I am

I AM Riox Rheigh Frosher. I want to start out by posting some blogs from my my space account that does not exist anymore. It will give all of you quite a bit to read while I am formulating what else I would like to write.

Monday, April 23, 2007

What is attractive Current mood:  contemplative Category: Happy Life Very recently I have had some attention come my way; I'm sure because of the pic I have up.  The emails I received from one gentleman inspired me do some self contemplation and consequently, write this blog. I feel that everything I write has connections to everything else. IE: my previous blog about changes going on within myself. I have known for a long time that I am a lightworker. I've always felt "different" from other people and "out of place" until I came to Boulder. Boulder has been my residence for the last 12 years and I've been here the longest of anywhere that I've lived. Forgive me here: I am going to cut and paste a definition of what a Lightworker is for those of you who are unaware. I just think it is well said. The Lightworkers' Identity Lightworkers are souls who carry the strong inner desire to spread Light (knowledge, freedom and self-love) on earth. They sense this as their mission. They are often attracted to spirituality and to therapeutic work of some kind. Because of their deeply felt mission, lightworkers often feel different from other people. By experiencing different kinds of obstacles on their way, life provokes them to find their own, unique path. Lightworkers nearly always are solitary individuals, not fitting into fixed societal structures. A note on the notion of `lightworker' The word `lightworker' may evoke misunderstanding, since it lifts out a particular group of souls from the rest. In addition, it may be taken to suggest that this particular group is somehow superior to the others, i.e. those `not working for the light'. This whole line of thought is at odds with the very nature and intent of lightwork. Let us state briefly what is wrong with it. First, claims of superiority are generally unenlightened. They block your growth toward a free and loving consciousness. Second, Lightworkers are not `better' or `higher' than anyone else. They simply have a different history than the ones not belonging to this group. Because of this particular history, which we will discuss below, they have certain psychological characteristics which distinguish them as a group. Third, every soul becomes a lightworker at some stage of its unfolding, so the label `lightworker' is not reserved to a limited number of souls. The reason we use the word "lightworker" (despite possible misunderstandings) is because it carries associations and stirs memories within you that help you remember. There is a practical convenience to it as well, since the term is frequently used in your current spiritual literature. **There is more to be said about lightworkers~their characteristics, but I only want to help people understand (here) what one is to understand me a little more. So, I know that the reason I went through the detox period that I did was to prepare my body for receiving more light and to prepare me for the shift that is imminent for humanity as a whole.(2012) Right now, our planet is receiving more light to counteract the dark that is currently working against us right now. With receiving more light comes a shift in consciousness which I am experiencing. Also, I go through a period of adjustment that isn't always easy. This evolution that I'm going through must happen in stages(at least for me) to allow my body and mind to adjust accordingly. A note here: I am not the only one going through this evolution but sharing my experience may shed light on others as to why certain unexplainable? events are happening to them. OK, to get back to the original purpose for this blog: The shift in consciousness that I am going through is triggered by different things. I don't always know by what. This time, though, the emails I received from this gentleman triggered my self contemplation. Basically, he started by telling me how attracted to me he was and after a few more emails and me asking him to be honest about his motivation, he was honest and told me that he wanted to experience me sexually. I appreciated his honesty but I did not address his statement. I started thinking about how I have been in the past~allowing myself to not only enjoy the compliments I received but sometimes acting on them. IE: accepting invitations for sex. This has been somewhat of a pitfall for me because I didn't take into account the person in the body. If I was interested and attracted to the outer shell, I accepted. I am also aware that way back when, I was somewhat insecure with myself and thought that by having sex with someone, I would be loved. Of course that stemmed from the emotional abuse I put up with as a child that caused me to look outside of myself for validation and love. Contemplating all of this brought me to a realization that is also connected to seeing someone that I hadn't seen in a long time at the Kan'Nal show this last Friday night (4/20). I used to work with this person a long time ago. He was maybe 19 or 20 at the time and I didn't have a physical attraction to him at that time. He also did not seem to be a very happy person or maybe he was just not in a good place in his life. Well, I saw him at the show and I immediately felt an attraction. It wasn't that his physical appearance had really changed all that much except that he had had braces on his teeth. The attraction that I felt was coming from within him, but I was aware of being physical attracted as well. We got to talk for a bit and he told me that he was loving what he was doing for work. I could tell that he was genuinely happy!  His inner light made him more attractive on the outside!  I actually thought of asking him if he was single and giving him my number. I decided not to do this because I do have a relationship that is kind of "up in the air" and I need to see where this is going to go, if anywhere, before I make myself available to anyone else. My realization was that even though I have been aware for quite some time and experienced "the light coming from within to make the person more attractive on the outside", I had yet to experience it into wisdom, which I have done. It isn't until we contemplate the experiences that we have and we have a shift in consciousness happen that wisdom is incorporated. The work that I have consciously done for myself and the healing that has taken place has allowed the shift in my consciousness to occur. I no longer look outside myself for love or validation. I know that I have everything I need within myself. The wisdom incorporated means that I will still allow myself to be attracted to the shell(body) but I no longer feel the need to immediately act on my attraction. I am now more attracted to what I feel coming from within that shell and allow that feeling to be my guide when creating relationships with people(or not). This is a very recent revelation for me and I am grateful to the gentleman and my friend from Kan'Nal for bringing me to a place of contemplation so that I would create the wisdom I needed for change. THANK YOU!! IN LOVE, RIOX Namaste