Until today, (back in the middle of August) I haven't even had the desire to come here and share what's been going on with me even though it may be helpful to some to hear from me that, as bad as it may seem sometimes, it's not the worst and it's only temporary. Here is a video from Kerry K who I have great trust in that she knows what she is talking about. This video describes quite accurately how I've been feeling lately. I haven't really had the emotional swings to such extreme as what she talks about, but what I have noticed is that I feel it more clearly when there is a big enough gap in emotional frequencies that I can really feel the difference between different feelings instead of them being blended together.
There is so much that I have processed from this ongoing experience... it's part of spiritual awakening that I interpret as attaining the awareness and experience of Who I really am; awakening INTO who I really am as I let go of personal baggage.
It started with the overall feeling of being "done". Done with how I live my live, what I wear, living with the people I'm living with, what I do for a living... I could go on and on... I felt most of it with a sense of conviction and a tiny bit of resentment.
This lasted for a couple of weeks.
It has been months now and what I've realized is that I'm done being on Earth; not that I'm going to leave my body, but that I'm going to leave the surface of the planet. I would love to have my own space ship and go explore other planets!
Anyway, back to the changes I've been experiencing.
Over the last few months, I've regained patience, a greater sense of security and I've surprised myself. It's still been a yo-yo like feeling of being up in vibration and then back down but consistantly still going up.
I went to the Big Island of Hawai'i the last 2 weeks of October and stayed with the friends I always stay with; knowing what I was walking into. Their house was in worse shape than ever!😆 I was worried that I was going to be put out by all the clutter and literal dirt but I wasn't! I had what I feel was an extraordinary amount of compassion and understanding for their situation.
That whole trip was better than the one before that. I reconnected with several friends all of whom asked me if I was moving back.
When I got back home, the difference in vibration between Boulder and Pahoa was such a chasm that I could really feel it. The energy here in Boulder feels dense and kinda thick whereas the energy on the Big Island felt very light and less dense.
I' still aware of parts of my ego that really don't want to cooperate😆 but that's ok. I'm still making progress with myself.
My outside reality is still the same as well but here and there as I keep moving up in vibration, I experience strings of synchronicities.
Here is a GREAT short video of Bashar using a very good analogy for explaining manifestation.
Here also is another video that I found today that pretty accurately describes pretty much what I'm in the middle of as I'm working on my 60'th year!
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