My experience with Coronavirus (COVID)

Well, here I am; still a little pissed that I even got that shit!  lol 

However, I'm seeing the silver lining, if you will, because it's helping me to eliminate coffee and other things from my diet that just don't taste right anymore.  

I think the reason why I'm still a little upset about getting sick with it is because I don't get sick very often.  I'm generally pretty healthy.  The last time I was sick was March 17, 2018.  I remember because that was the day that I moved into the house that I still live in with my house mates.  I had been stressed about moving because I had been given a date to move by from my last house mate who was not a good match for me.

The other reason is that it's COVID!  I NEVER wanted to get sick with it just because of all the hype it's gotten and my knowledge that it was engineered in a fucking LAB by other Humans!  I guess I have to just get over that! 😂😝

This time, I got sick because one, my house mate brought it home after traveling overseas for a month and two, I was stressed about the situation my Mom is in and having heard that she felt ready to leave her body and also I have friends in Ft. Myers where the hurricane landed.  One lost almost everything and the other only lost part of his roof! 

While I was in bed for two plus days (I started feeling symptoms with a headache and fatigue on 9/28 and didn't get out of bed until 10/1) I didn't leave my bed except to use the toilet.  I was also getting hot flashes on and off the whole time.  It's not the worst I've ever felt, however, it has been the only time I've ever experienced a head ache for 3 days and fatigue for about a week and I didn't eat for 3 days.  My tongue got this icky coating on it that was more than usual for me.  I have that coating anyway from systemic Candida being in my blood from having leaking gut in the past... I didn't accumulate anything in my lungs but I think that the inflammation of my brain (headache) caused some production of mucus to soothe the irritation my brain went through and it drains into my sinuses and collects in my throat.  I get this horsey sounding cough and I spit out whatever comes out.  I can tell from looking at it it's collected some "junk" and I'm grateful to be rid of it!

I did something of a fast which I think was time enough for my body to clear out some junk and change a few things like my taste buds!  I did lose my sense of smell and taste for about 4 days but even now, two weeks later, things still don't taste right.  I could still taste sweet, salty, bitter and sour but I lost the taste of subtle flavors.  I have that back now and I'm waiting to see if my taste changes some more.  

I also had quit smoking pot for the last time.  I've "tested" myself by smoking a little bit with a friend and even THAT tastes different.  I don't like it anymore.  Grateful it's out of my life.  Don't get me wrong, it has served me well in the past but I just know it was time to let it go... it became too much of an all day, every day thing to escape the parts of my reality I wasn't too happy with.

I have to laugh because I feel like I'm in one of those situations where I'm realizing "be careful what you ask for".  I have been addicted to sugar literally since day one; my BIRTH.  The nurse put a bottle of sugar water in my mouth to shut me up when I wasn't with my Mom and she spent a few days in the military hospital where I was born.  I am KEENLY aware of my addiction and it has been a problem most of my life.

Well, I was asking for a way to kick it... damned if I have cut my sugar in HALF because of Covid.  I also can't stand the way coffee tastes anymore.  I'm not supposed to have any caffeine anyway so it's truly a blessing, however, this particular virus REALLY changed how I taste things!  I've become extremely sensitive to not only sugar but also salt (most things are too salty now) and anything with sulfur in it like garlic (I LOVED garlic and now I can't stand it!) and onion.  Chocolate is on that list too.  I think there must be something similar in the cacao beans that is also in coffee beans because chocolate does not taste "right" either.  Oh Pooh!😒

My house mates took really good care of me, especially Claudia.  They both went to the store to get whatever I asked for, gave me supplements of what I didn't already have and were just genuinely THERE for me.  I'm so grateful to have these people in my life! 

It's crazy to me to think that with all the supplements, daily detoxing and healthy eating I do, that I still got it.  I'm sure it could have been a LOT worse if I wasn't doing all that stuff; especially the zeolite spray for detox.

The other thing that happened while I was lying there in bed was my dreams were very vivid and CRAZY.

Hope this is helpful for anyone going through it!  

Love You!💚💜😇

Revelation!

 A week ago, I went to a favorite hot spring in southern Colorado with a few micro-doses of Psilicybin (magic mushroom) with the intention of doing a mild "reset" to help my (last) ego part to see that it CAN trust my True Self (Love) so that it would stop with these intense and hateful thoughts of other people.

I took one when I first got there last Monday and forgot about Tuesday so then I took 2 at once on Wednesday, the day before I left.  I can't really say with any confidence that I got what I intended, however, the day after I got home, I went through a really "rough" day with myself.  It was so bad I was in tears!

I wanted to know where this was coming from; like, was it even MINE?  I can't remember EVER having such derogatory thoughts about other people SO intensely!

It suddenly occurred to me that this behavior I noticed in myself was the same that I had experienced with an old boyfriend that still lives in Hawai'i that, at the time, displayed some very unacceptable behavioral patterns which we call "narcissism".

Eventually, I got intuitively that it was NOT mine and that it WAS coming from my "twin flame" ex-boyfriend in Hawai'i.  I did some checking with kinesiology and a card reading to confirm what I was getting.  I didn't really need to do that because the RELIEF that I felt was good enough.  It was SUCH a relief to know where this was coming from and that it was NOT mine.  I understood, then, that this is what (he) must be going through with himself.  I felt such compassion for him that I cried.  

To be clear here, the THOUGHTS I was having were his but the FEELINGS about those thoughts we my own.

I got on the phone with my stepdad who gave me some insights of his own about my situation and then my girlfriend in Hawai'i that has lived with me to ask her what she remembered about my behavior that I described to her that is characteristic of this part and I shared my revelation with her.  

She confirmed what I knew about myself about my behavior.  He and I shared some of those behavioral patterns but not to the degree that I had on my own.  

What I received intuitively is that, as Twin Flames, we are so "entangled" with each other on an energetic level that we are able and have been helping each other.  His help came in the form of the most difficult relationship I've ever been in in my life that forced me to question who I was and who I had been in that relationship as well as propel me onto the path where I found "self love".  

I have been helping him over that past 12 years since we first met; which explains a LOT.  I even got evidence of that entanglement when I was him the last time.  We hugged each other and my necklace got hooked on the shoulder strap of his backpack.😂

I decided to call the last number I had for him but it didn't go through so I called his Sister to share with her what I had discovered and to ask her to contact him for me so I could share my revelation with him also in an effort to help him understand himself better.

Not 10 minutes after I hung up with her, he called me back!  We talked for half and hour or so and texted for a bit after we hung up.  

He has been going through some intense experiences with himself over that last couple of years and the last couple of months especially.  He shared what he had been going through and it made sense to me finally why I had always seen his "number" (the numbers in his birthday) and why I had seen them more over the last few months.  I've been picking up on him telepathically.

I've got a sense that he is still struggling with himself and still does not know himself as much as he thinks or needs to in order to heal the traumas that he's been through.  I have no doubt, though, that he will find his path to healing himself just as I have. 

Today, I've been feeling different.  I did not have ANY derogatory thoughts about anyone (so far) and I also had more patience than usual with the dogs that I walk and I just have a "lighter" feeling that I haven't felt since I got back from my trip to Florida in April.  The brief interactions I've had with people just this morning have felt lighter as well.

I want to say that my revelation and my conversations with my stepdad, girlfriend and my ex are what has enabled me to move beyond this "stuff" and what I do now, rather than just be annoyed or ignore what I hear in my head that I don't like is to say, "Thank you and now I send you back to your Source with Love."  This is so much better than what I was doing before and I did that yesterday.  Yesterday, I was still having some of the same thoughts, however, with my new awareness I was able to have more compassion for myself, this part and my ex.  (EDIT)  I have to add... it also occurred to me which was corroborated by this video HERE (in the 1st 10 minutes) that I had the desire to know what it was like to feel what a "narcissist" was going through personally.  This came after a discussion with a friend of what he's going through with a narcissistic female and I had a moment of compassion for her thinking that it must really SUCK to go through that with yourself.

Having the understanding that this was not mine was what was missing that wasn't allowing me to move beyond it.  It's not like I haven't known about "sending it back with Love" before; it just didn't seem appropriate until my realization. 

I share this story to help you who read this that there are SO MANY ways that we can resolve our issues.  It never occurred to me (until it did lol) that this wasn't mine or that it would have been coming from someone I know.  Don't ever give up on yourself!  Ask yourself questions to understand yourself and be patient with yourself.  The Uni-verse really does work in mysterious ways!💖💜💪