I have another experience to share concerning the lesson I learned from the last gig I did.
When I returned to the house I was at to discover the door had been left open, there were two guys there to blow out the irrigation system that had arrived ahead of me.
One of them gave me his business card and I had a quick insight that it wasn't just about having a new customer but wanting to talk with me further or even setting up a date. When I finally did contact him, I asked why he had given me his card and I had been correct; he wanted a date!
We texted back and forth for a bit until I had to meet with a previous engagement and agreed to talk in a couple of days when we were both free.
I was giddy with glee at the thought of having a date! In the past, I had mostly jumped into every relationship I've ever had. Just the fact that I was allowing myself the time to know someone is a testament to the work I've done, once again, to relieve myself of my insecurities which was most of the reason I had not been patient with myself. It has also been a long time since I have engaged with a man having rearranged my priorities to working on my self and healing the trauma I've been through. I have stayed single on purpose.
I started to imagine our date and what we would talk about and then I found myself coming up with ideas of other "dates" that we could do. I immediately realized how lonely I had been without the love and support of an intimate relationship and all the things I miss that come along with that.
I decided to go the the website for his business and in reading his bio, I discovered that he is married. I felt disappointed almost immediately but I didn't go into judgment about him. I didn't hear any "bashing" in my mind of this man and he genuinely seemed very interested in me and also practiced some restraint (which I liked) because of his lack of knowledge about who I was in relation to his clients. He even told me that he didn't want to be presumptuous. I should have taken that as a clue for me to do the same. He asked me if I was single and I never asked him if he was.
While I felt let down, I realized that I had let myself down by going too far in my mind about "what could happen" before I'd even had a first date! lol I don't think that's wrong per se but it certainly did not help keep things real. It was part of recognizing that maybe it had been too long since I'd allowed myself some fun with a man. I also encouraged him to read this blog and sent him an email with a few pics of myself and a partial list of "who I am" to give him an idea of how I'm not anything like most other women. I have no idea if he read anything here... I did not get a response to my email. It is possible that I've scared him off so-to-speak already! Oh well, if that's the case. I'm not attached.
I had a conversation with myself as a reminder that I didn't really know yet why he wanted a date and I had no way of knowing how old this bio was or even if he is still married. I became more realistic about this.
The feelings lingered for a while as I had this conversation with myself covering all the angles of "what I didn't know". I allowed myself to sit with these feelings until a few hours later, they had dissipated.
Today he is supposed to call me to set up a time to meet at the location we agreed on. I really hope that it does happen so that I can get to the truth about what is going on. That's more important to me than even another date. It's entirely possible that he IS single and is doing his best to get back out there. I've also thought that maybe things aren't going well in his marriage and he's looking for an "out" or maybe connection with another female to just talk to that will be there for him. I'm open to it all even just friendship.
Funny thing... I have a friend that IS married and had the courage to ask me if I would have sex with him because his wife is not longer attracted to him. I declined because I really don't want to be involved with a married man regardless of what he's going through and even though I don't really agree with the way marriage is practiced, I still have respect for it. We ended up going to concerts together as friends and hanging out. Who am I to judge what someone else feels they need?
I woke up today just as chipper as the day before, waiting with baited breath to hear from him. I've discovered I can be OK after I perceive a "let down" without knowing why and that I'm DONE being single!😉
So, if you're reading this J. PLEASE have the courage to call me today and meet up even if you had second thoughts. 😀 I'm SO looking forward to it either way!💖
When I returned to the house I was at to discover the door had been left open, there were two guys there to blow out the irrigation system that had arrived ahead of me.
One of them gave me his business card and I had a quick insight that it wasn't just about having a new customer but wanting to talk with me further or even setting up a date. When I finally did contact him, I asked why he had given me his card and I had been correct; he wanted a date!
We texted back and forth for a bit until I had to meet with a previous engagement and agreed to talk in a couple of days when we were both free.
I was giddy with glee at the thought of having a date! In the past, I had mostly jumped into every relationship I've ever had. Just the fact that I was allowing myself the time to know someone is a testament to the work I've done, once again, to relieve myself of my insecurities which was most of the reason I had not been patient with myself. It has also been a long time since I have engaged with a man having rearranged my priorities to working on my self and healing the trauma I've been through. I have stayed single on purpose.
I started to imagine our date and what we would talk about and then I found myself coming up with ideas of other "dates" that we could do. I immediately realized how lonely I had been without the love and support of an intimate relationship and all the things I miss that come along with that.
I decided to go the the website for his business and in reading his bio, I discovered that he is married. I felt disappointed almost immediately but I didn't go into judgment about him. I didn't hear any "bashing" in my mind of this man and he genuinely seemed very interested in me and also practiced some restraint (which I liked) because of his lack of knowledge about who I was in relation to his clients. He even told me that he didn't want to be presumptuous. I should have taken that as a clue for me to do the same. He asked me if I was single and I never asked him if he was.
While I felt let down, I realized that I had let myself down by going too far in my mind about "what could happen" before I'd even had a first date! lol I don't think that's wrong per se but it certainly did not help keep things real. It was part of recognizing that maybe it had been too long since I'd allowed myself some fun with a man. I also encouraged him to read this blog and sent him an email with a few pics of myself and a partial list of "who I am" to give him an idea of how I'm not anything like most other women. I have no idea if he read anything here... I did not get a response to my email. It is possible that I've scared him off so-to-speak already! Oh well, if that's the case. I'm not attached.
I had a conversation with myself as a reminder that I didn't really know yet why he wanted a date and I had no way of knowing how old this bio was or even if he is still married. I became more realistic about this.
The feelings lingered for a while as I had this conversation with myself covering all the angles of "what I didn't know". I allowed myself to sit with these feelings until a few hours later, they had dissipated.
Today he is supposed to call me to set up a time to meet at the location we agreed on. I really hope that it does happen so that I can get to the truth about what is going on. That's more important to me than even another date. It's entirely possible that he IS single and is doing his best to get back out there. I've also thought that maybe things aren't going well in his marriage and he's looking for an "out" or maybe connection with another female to just talk to that will be there for him. I'm open to it all even just friendship.
Funny thing... I have a friend that IS married and had the courage to ask me if I would have sex with him because his wife is not longer attracted to him. I declined because I really don't want to be involved with a married man regardless of what he's going through and even though I don't really agree with the way marriage is practiced, I still have respect for it. We ended up going to concerts together as friends and hanging out. Who am I to judge what someone else feels they need?
I woke up today just as chipper as the day before, waiting with baited breath to hear from him. I've discovered I can be OK after I perceive a "let down" without knowing why and that I'm DONE being single!😉
So, if you're reading this J. PLEASE have the courage to call me today and meet up even if you had second thoughts. 😀 I'm SO looking forward to it either way!💖
